Remember that stupidly hot chick I wrote about a little while ago who has 100 names? Well, she has more, but whatever, she’s fucking hot.

How is she not more porn-famous?

Let’s get on that, ok?

Check out more HERE

I promised myself this wouldn’t happen again. Yep, I swore there was no way I’d fall in love with another non nude model.

I mean, it just didn’t make sense. The internet was filled with amazingly hot girls happily willing to toss their clothes aside and show us their boobies. Most were even willing to do dirty things with girls… and the special few, well, you know…

So that was it. I was swearing off NN girls completely.

At least, that was until Linds Roxx showed up on my screen. Honestly, I’m not even sure how it happened. It just… happened. And really quickly. Next thing I know I’ve seen every photo the internet will allow, and I’ve even read her blogs. Trust me, you probably don’t want to take that path.

But dear god people, I think I’m in love. Nay, I know I’m in love.

After who knows how many sets later, I went and got a haircut. I don’t know why, I just thought I needed to look better.

Linds Roxx has changed my life to the point where I’m actually considering becoming a member of her site. Can you believe it?! I can’t explain it.

I need to pray.

Find more of Linds Roxx on her site, because, well, she needs the money. Meanwhile, I’ll be walking aimlessly around Texas searching for this amazing girl.

What the fucking fuck?! It’s like every day I wake up and discover a new, ridiculously hot solo girl.

Trust me, I would rather post zombies fucking, or discuss the a new Porn Parody, but they just won’t let me.

Enter Autumn Riley. Enter Boner.

Autumn Riley reminds me of that stripper that always gets away. You know what I’m talking about. You see her on stage, and give her all your money, then next thing you know she’s dancing on some fat tard. Alright, you can be patient, right? So, you decide to get a dance, which sucks really badly. You look over, because you’re finally going to get a dance from the hottest girl, and you’re even thinking, “I could blow $500 in VIP,” and she’s fucking gone. Gone. Where did she even go? Ugh… well, I guess it’s back to the fat tard. At least she gives good head, right?

What a great time for solo girls, huh? Either they keep getting younger and hotter, or I’m getting better at finding them.

Let’s look at the recent discoveries of incredible hotness – XOEve, Little Caprice, Amia Moretti, Karla Spice (she counts), and now Bailey Knox.

Bailey Knox likes to take photos with her nipple covered. She seems fairly new to all of this, so I guess we can forgive her. I guess I can still beat to her. I guess you can all still enjoy hot ridiculously hot she is.

Because… damn… she’s ridiculously hot. I want to introduce Bailey to my mother.

Cinco De Mayo is like my Christmas… All the little Mexican girls come out ready to get sauced and make sexual enchiladas with their vaginas.

I’d love to put my steak fajita meat in Rachel Milan’s tortilla and cover that shit in salsa.

She makes me want to be a better person. I should introduce her to my tamale lady.

Check out more of this ridiculously hot chick HERE and HERE

I don’t know why I always get so excited about midget porn.

It’s just… awesome.

I think it’s because they’re really the only ones you can dress up in funny costumes. I really like when people are dressed up in costumes. Especially if those people are midgets.

Check out Midget Porn Pass, because it’s awesome and you secretly like beating off to weird things.

It’s not often that a title of a post is effective just by using a name. By now you’ve come to learn that I try (try) and put some life into it.
But, with Vikki Blows that’s all you need to know.
The exclamation point is there because I feel like it.

Thanks Front. I owe you.

And, stay tuned for what promises to be greatest site in the world – iamvikkiblows.com

Mother of god, why is she so fucking hot?

Tori Black should be a librarian. So, I can look at her microfiche.
No, Tori Black should be a chicken farmer. So, I can harvest her eggs.
Hahaa… nope… Tori Black should be a toll booth operator. So, I can put my coins in her slot.

Winner!

Check out more Tori Black HERE

Finally, you can stop playing Halo and start playing with 3D boobies.

Turns out thriXXX, makers of other sex games you’ve probably never heard of, is coming out with game for the XBox.

This looks awesome, if you’re one of those guys that likes touching the air and thinking it’s tatty’s.

My concern here is that with the violent way I masturbate, my Kinect hand would be shaking like Michael J. Fox.

Generally, when I’m looking for advice on sex, I look for the guy that has really bad blonde highlights.

This is for two reasons. 1. Because generally he’s the creepiest motherfucker in the room. and 2. You know he has all the time in the world to practice this type of shit.

Today, the creepiest motherfucker in the room teaches us how to suck on a tatty.

Granted, that doesn’t sound creepy, does it? Well, wait till he starts getting hosed down with breast milk.

Mmmmm… straight from the source. The giant, gross source.