Here’s a little insight into me. I’m mexican, and like all mexicans, I was, at one time, obsessed with lowriders. I had lowrider posters that covered every inch of my walls. Any car I saw I wanted to lower it and put daytons on it. Obsessed! Another part of being obsessed with lowriders is being a subscriber to Lowrider Magazine. I’ve jacked off more times to lowrider magazine than any other publication on the planet. Including all the porn I watch now and that’s saying something. I just remember them having the hottest fucking models ever. Fucking gorgeous mexican models in aztec costumes with their fat asses hanging out. Sometimes an occasional asian thrown into the mix. I mean I remember thinking to myself once I get a car like that I’ll be fucking women like that. This whole thought started with this picture of Daniella Alonso.

I was sitting on the toilet reading maxim when this photo just brought a rush of young masturbation memories back. Lowriders jumping and hot lowrider models butt ass naked giving everyone blowjobs. It hit me hard so the first thing I had to do today was check out how the lowrider girls have come up with age. I have to say…I’m so pissed off. Here I am happy as shit, can’t fucking wait to see hot ass latina’s bent over pimped out rides and what do I see? Skanks number 1, 2, and 3.

1 is a fucking man…there’s no doubt in my mind. Tranny Island here she comes. Number 2 could have escaped the island, but is still one…older than I’d like to see and two still sporting the claw. You know the front hair that comes out at you like a evil claw. And fucking number 3 has the worst teeth I’ve ever seen. Roots like crazy and who the fuck did her makeup…bozo? This is not the kind of quality I was hoping to find. What the fuck is wrong with lowrider magazine? The worst part about it is I didn’t go looking for these girls. I found this is the Wallpaper section. As in…they think people want to put these ugly ass girls on their desktop.

Now there were a couple of girls in that section that were pretty hot.

And by hot I mean if you went into any run down mexican neighborhood strip club…you’d run into girls like this. So the fact that makes them hot is that you can picture them naked dancing and jacking you off for a mear 25 bucks.

They really make me feel bad about my race. I mean this is what the mexican’s got and the asian’s are pulling out some hot shit like this:

I’m so glad I’ve moved on to team yellow.