I know it’s going to be a good day when as soon as I sit down at my computer someone sends me a link to a hot ass lesbian with her mouth wrapped around a clit. What could be better?. Well I mean the only thing that could make that better is if she was asian, but we can’t always get what we want (all the time). So today we’re talking about Ruth. Ruth is a girl that likes what she does and aint afraid to tell ole dad that’s letting chicks lick her clean for a living. I like her already. Here’s a little more info about our girl:

I was born in the Midlands of the UK and lived there until I turned 18 and took myself off to University in Sheffield. There I studied Russian and Philosophy with extra modules in French until I discovered the evils of porn a year and a half later. At 19 I did my first porn shoot to help fund my way through Uni… I was previously working as an elf in a Santas grotto for cash however Santa fired me once Christmas was over (no joke!). I eventually got some extra work recruiting hot chicks for www.simonscans.com and combined with modelling, after a while, the full time lure of porn was too much and I left Uni eventually moving to London. I now live with another model named Cassie and a bloke (who I won’t name in case he minds), which means I pay super low rent in a super funky appartment.

My parents know entirely all that I do, although they haven’t seen any of my adult stuff they are thoroughly supportive. They’re lovely and I consider myself super lucky. I’m in no way ashamed of what I do and resent the implication that I should be. However – at the same time – I don’t tell everyone I meet what I do in a “Hi, I’m Ruth, I do porn”, kinda way.

I haven’t been able to find too much on her but I did find this gallery and some hot wallpaper for your desktop.

Sandee is a natural born leader. I would follow this ass anywhere she decided to lead me (especially the bedroom). Wouldn’t you? Just so you know, if you say that you would not follow her ass anywhere, you are a homosexual.

That’s what I thought. When it’s time to vote, I’ll be tempted to write in Sandee Westgate‘s name for president. She couldn’t be worse than Bush, right?

If you love Sandee, check out these free videos of her. Happy Wednesday! xoxo

Ever thought of painting with your dick? Apparently Tim Patch beat you to it. The painter even calls himself “Pricasso.”

Tim considers himself to be the world’s greatest penile artist. Skeptical? Check out this video of him panting with his dick. You can view all of his penis paintings here. If you have $300 extra bucks lying around, Tim’s paintings are for sale, too.

I was recently introduced to tranny enema painting. Essentially you take a hot tranny and fill her ass with paint. The tranny pulls up her dress and squats on a canvas. She jerks off and blows the paint out of her asshole. Need a visual? Look no further than this video. Porn or Art?

Admit it. You’re slightly upset that you didn’t create this niche/art trend yourself.

Even there are people who jerk off to this, it seems more like art to me. This is the type of art you want to give to an evil boss. When you’re at the holiday party this year and you hear you’re not getting a bonus, think tranny enema painting! He’ll never know that it was made by a tranny’s ass, but you will. la la la

[tranny enema painting] [babe enema painting]

While I was in Berlin for Venus 10 last week, I came across some interesting gay lube. A cool new company called Starglide had come up with Organic, Dermatologist Tested, and very Edible Lube. There’s a huge range of flavors, but my favorite was the Prickelnde (Tingle) Cola. The Germans are odd. I love them.

A long line of gay men (and I: the hag) stood there and had the cola flavor squirted on the back of our hands. We all licked it at the same time. And you know what? It really fucking tastes like cola! I couldn’t help but think that this would be the perfect gay lube for a spur of the moment rim job.

Think about it: Cola flavored lube is perfect for times when you know you want to get to know him better without really having to get to know him.

[Check out their entire line of lube here.] [Glory Hole Videos] [Rim Jobs]

Now I love our friends over at FuckingMachines.com. They throw some pretty sick parties, and a kick ass happy hour on fridays. But you guys have to give a guy a break. I know everyone woman will completely disagree with me, but you guys with your machines are just making it impossible to be a good lover. In the photo above, if you can’t tell, it’s a machine with a bunch of tongues attached to a screw driver. As you press the button the tongues lick your pussy faster and faster which makes Annie Cruz cum faster than japanes business man fucking a hooker. Not only does she cum quick, but she shoots her load right in Gary’s face.

Check out the Tongue Machine

Vegetarian woman are just taking it too far. Nothing is every good enough for these women. First of all they were meat eaters and totally cock hungry. Something about that steak just makes the ladies want cock in their ass at all times. Then that wasn’t good enough so they became vegetarian. Obviously since they were making changes in what went into their bodies this meant no more dick. So goodbye to dick, Hello to lesbians licking their vagina. And everyone was okay with this. I mean it had just become a part of life. No meat, means no meat. But now it’s going to another level. Now these vag-etarians, as I’m calling them, don’t even want other vaginas. No tongue on their pussies. Nope, just give them a big cucumber. No that’s not a joke. These women want only vegetables in their body. And we’re talking about in every orifice. Cucumber in the pussy, carrot in the asshole, and a banana in their mouth is a good day in Vag-etarian world. What’s next?

Here is some Vag-etarian Porn for your enjoyment:

woman has sex with corn on the cob
brunette babe stuffs her tight pussy with vegetable
asian girl shows tits toying with vegetable
blond babe vegetable insertion in ass outdoor
kream fucks her snatch with cucumber and squirts cum

If that’s not enough VAG-etarian porn for you be sure to check out Veggie Bang or Veggie Dip

Jordan Capri, who’s mostly avoided hardcore, recently had her honeymoon sex tape stolen by a “friend.” Bad for her but good for you! If you’ve ever imagined this cutie fucking hardcore, it’s time for you to watch this video clip and sign up to Jordan’s site…NOW!

So I feel the need to do some undercover journalism. I found Keiko today and her proposition. She claims to be a japanese student in tokyo that offers young…under 35 years old (sorry)…white guys free lodging in her small apartment. Here’s what her site says:

Hello my name is Keiko and I live in Tokyo in Japan. I have a nice apartment in Ochanomizu and you are welcome to stay with me if you are UNDER 35 and YOU ARE NICE LOOKING and YOU ARE WHITE. You can save your hotel cost (a lot in Tokyo!) and we can have fun! – but ONLY if you are a white guy. I do not want asian men, sorry.

What do I get??
I can have some fun sex with Europen, and American guys… what I love – they are very sexy and yummy! – Japanese men are pigs. Also, I want to practise my English with you, please.

Who am i?

I am student attending University of Tokyo, what is near Akihabara – studying IT and English subjects also. My studies are about 20 hours of time a week. My parents pay my apartment – and I can do anything because I am living alone. What else do I like? Yes, I like sex! Yummy yummy (My parents live in Osaka and they do not know! haha!). Also, I like music (Malice Mizer is my favourite), to drink too much (Shochu!! – Japanese drink), and I love all of my friends! I hate: studying – yuk – I want to finish studying and start travelling! I am 26 this year and so I want to travel. I am want to go to Australia first.

Other things?
YOU MUST BE UNDER 35 (I don’t want to have any men that are too older then 35 years old – I do not want my father!) ALSO, YOU MUST BE GOOD LOOKING AND BE WHITE – I LOVE WHITE GUYS. Yay! (^_^)

So like I said I had to find out more about this. So I wrote keiko to find out about the other million races she left out that aren’t asian or white. I asked her about myself…which I am mexican and white…so I should be able to participate half way at least right? Anyway I’ll definately post anything she writes back on here. This is fun. I really did send her a photo of myself so we’ll see if she says i’m an ugly fucker or not. Here’s what I wrote her:

Hi,

My name is CrackaAss and am really curious about one thing. I realize that you’re into white guys and not asians, but you’ve left out a lot of races with that statement. I’m half mexican and half white and would consider myself good looking. I’m wondering where I’d stand on your list and if I would be applicable due to my race? I’ll be travelling to Japan in December and would love to have lodging arrangements taken care of

I’ve gone ahead an attached a photo for you to go ahead and judge me. Hope to hear from you soon

Thanks
CrackaAss

Obviously this could be some 12 year old japanese boy putting up a site to fuck with all of us stupid americans, but still it’s funny none the less. When I think about it being a joke I always think of this awesome commercial.

Ok. I’m overwhelmed with the beautiful photographs that were sent in by our kick ass readers. ….who all are all foxy babes, apparently.

This submission is from Crish of CWH. If you like hot skinny blondes, Crish is your BCFF (Best Cam Friend Forever). You can tell that she’s a real blonde by the peach fuzz on the small of her back.

Sweet Jesus, I love my job. Thank you for reading Pornzio, Crish! xoxo