Wednesday 05.02.07
May Day reminds me of the cult-y British film from the 70s, The Wicker Man. Remember that one? Does pagan fertility pole dancing, sacrifice, and nude chicks ring a bell? How about that crazy ass song “And on that tree there was a limb; And on that limb there was a branch; And on that branch there was a nest; And in that nest there was an egg; And in that egg there was a bird; And from that bird a feather came; And of that feather was
A bed…”
Whatevs. On to the nudie film shots from the original Wicker Man. 
Haven’t watched the original in a while? Rent it, bitch. It’s so much better than the remake. Britt Ekland plays the landlord’s daughter in The Wicker Man. In the scene shown above, this highly sexual pagan slut performs a nude dance in her room. She sings and pounds the walls with her nubile breasts and fingers. Her whore energy wakes up the cop in the next room. Loves it.
If you have a clip of this nude dance, please link me to it. I’ve been looking for it for a god damn hour, and I’m dying to watch it. Thanks in advance, pornzio peeps!
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Wednesday 05.02.07
My friends at SexyBattleBoard just sent me links to these topless Britney shots. She really does love to show off her naughty bits in public. Remember the vag pics?
Aren’t the flowers a nice touch? A kinder, gentler, Britney Spears. It almost makes you forget about the angry bald britney holding an umbrella. Almost!
The timing for these photos to be leaked couldn’t have been at a better moment. She’s just now getting back on stage at the House of Blues. Nice. Way to go Britney! We’re always cheering for you.
Friday 05.04.07
Okay, so it’s not everyday that I find something that just makes me think “God…I wish I was that Dinosaur” I mean how many times in a man’s life do you get to say something like that. Well my friends…this is your first and probably last time to ever get to say that. I found this video of a dinosaur like barney having a threesome with 2 white chicks. It’s pretty amazing. It’s like sesame street meets cinemax. And if that wasn’t enough I found this other video that has a dinosaur with a big green cock that he’s raming into another white chick. What is it with white chicks and dinosaurs?
Dinosaur does 2 white chicks
Dinosaur rams cock in white chick
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Friday 05.04.07
Well maybe she’s not super hot, but I bet she fucks like a whore on meth. Not like I know what that meth whore fucks like, but I’m assuming it’s pretty crazy. I mean a bitch will do a lot for a hit. Only thing I’m not crazy about with ole rachael is those crazy faces. Here’s a couple of photos of some random O faces. That’s one crazy bitch. Oh yeah…that’s what I was showing you guys. This week Mrs. Ray’s titties wanted to make an appearance. So I’d love to introduce you to the only 2 titties that probably smell like italian food on a daily basis. Enjoy.
Rachael Ray’s Titties
Wednesday 05.09.07
When I think of Paris in jail, I get so sad. …until I think of her playing “bitch sub” to some butch dyke in jail. Glee! Then I get totally stoked about a possible lesbo jail sex tape. I digress…
If you are really worried about Paris going to jail, sign this petition asap. It reads, “This petition is to ask Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to pardon Paris Hilton for her mistake. Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn’t hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday. She is distraught and understandably afraid.” LA prosecutors are recommending that Paris Hilton serve a whopping 45 days in jail. Ouch.
Paris Hilton’s attorney, Richard Hutton, issued this statement on her behalf:
“After reading the media’s coverage of my court hearing, I feel the need to correct what I believe are misperceptions about me. I absolutely realize how serious driving under the influence is. I could not live with myself if anyone was injured or killed while I was driving while impaired. Clearly, no one should — no matter how slightly.
I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation.
No one is above the law. I surely am not. I do not expect to be treated better than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be treated worse.”
Fuck it. I signed the petition. Need a more tangible reason to keep Paris free?
Live the dream, Paris!!!
Tuesday 05.15.07
My friends at TheAdultSection sent me this nude celeb fake of Kelly Clarkson and I had to share with the class.
Kelly Clarkson pre-sale tickets went up for grabs last week. My top gay and I will be attending the San Jose concert, for sure. If you’re in the Bay Area and are planning on attending this show, please leave me a comment. We’re hosting a gay tailgating party. I look forward to seeing some Pornzio peeps there.
Tuesday 05.15.07
I’m sure our friends at Hustler are going to toast with Campari tonight. lol In light of Jerry Falwell’s death today, let’s all jerk off to Hustler videos tonight. Ready? Ok. Go.
I’ll give you some free videos that are Larry Flynt approved. Check out this, this, this, and this to start. You can thank your favorite lesbian later. xoxo
Wednesday 05.16.07
I guess this just makes sense. You can only do the trapped in a box so many times…but sex…has so many positions and creative things to do. Mimes having sex is fucking brilliant. I’d actually watch them, and I’d probably give them a dollar. Shit maybe even two.
Porno Mimes
Wednesday 05.16.07
Finally…I can walk around and play with my own clit. Thank you Mr. Patrick Bucklew for making this amazing device. Why did you do it though? I found this interview to get a bit more information about this revolutionary invention.
Tell me a little about the mangina device.
It’s a prosthesis that I use in my performance art where I utilize my scrotum and labia, and I call that the “lotum.” So it’s actual genitalia that comes out of a prosthetic vagina that I wear and people finger it. I’ve had thousands of people finger it. Slightly to my dismay, people on the street say, “Hey, how ya doing? I fingered ya a couple of months ago.” It’s pretty intimate and it was something that I did to – I saw a lot of art that I thought was great in terms of technique, but I didn’t remember any of it. So I thought I want to do something that people remember, and they do. They never forget what I do.
I guess it’s only fair. I mean women have been wearing cocks and fucking women and men for years now. Now a man can get fucked, and not just in the asshole.
More about the Mangina
Wednesday 05.16.07
That really is the question. I guess you have to ask yourself who thought of lube? I mean you know romeo wanted to put it in juliets butt, but sometimes that thing is just too tight. What will lube this thing up he thought to himself? I’ve got it. There was a big stick of butter with bread on the dinner table. That’ll do it. And now lube is everywhere and people are putting it in butts all over the world.
But just like fashion lube wants to get back to it’s retro days. And leave it to the germans to bring it back.
Check out this video of butter fucking
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