That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex

No, I’m not talking about buying a hooker (although, that’s always a good idea). Someone had the brainy dazzle to bottle a scent that smells like juicy puntang. What a delight!

You can buy it here.

My favorite line from their site is “VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for y our own smelling pleasure. Breathe in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the odour of a beautiful woman.” And while it’s true that after fucking a lesbo with a sweet pussy, I sometimes forget to wash my hands…I’m not sure if I need to go out and buy a product like this. Maybe I’m an old fashioned dirty girl. *shrugs*

You’ll enjoy watching naked models pose with their product here. They’ve even got videos. You can thank your favorite lesbian l8r! xoxo

Did anyone watch So You Think You Can Dance last night? Lacey and Danny were learning a new Viennese Waltz routine. In one section, she’s supposed to slide underneath him and duck her head. Lacey was almost all the way through, and her head knocked up (hard) and hit his junk. Lacey started giggling and said, ‘’My head hit Danny’s goodies!'’ Whatever. I know at least 20 gay men who would have loved to be in her position. P’okay!

Yes. It’s exactly what you think, my GILF & Celeb Fake enthusiasts.

It all started with a sassy curator named Lenora Claire. After buying the infamous nude oil panting of Bea Arthur, Lenora realized how much people were still in love with the Golden Girls tv show. People were clamoring to purchase the painting off of her. She decided to commission a group of artists to create erotic Golden Girl art and curate an exhibit.

The art is fantastic. Above is just a taste of what you’ll see if you visit the gallery.

The show is open to the public at the World of Wonder art space at 6650 Hollywood Blvd in Los Angeles, CA. There’s a $5 donation for entry, but that’s a small price to pay for something this rad. You can even add them on myspace here. …and flickr, here.

And to my Pornzio readers, “Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true. You’re a friend and a confidant. And if you threw a party. Invited everyone you ever knew. You would see, the biggest gift would be from me. And the card attached would say, Thank you for being a friend.”

The lovely Dita Von Teese was on Last Call with Carson Daly doing what she does best. Getting Naked.

See the whole video here.

Many call Dita the “Queen of Burlesque”. She has an unforgettable look that lends itself well to glamour and fetish photography. Beyond her image, you’ll see a confidence and control that is rare to find in erotica. I suppose it’s only natural that she’d be confident after a decade on stage. Her faux vintage fetish videos are what I love the most. ….or her spreads in Playboy magazine.

Intrigued? I’ve got some other free Dita videos for you to watch: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. 10.

Should you fear the gay chicken? Sound ON, folks!

tee hee. Simple. Loves it.

Ever get aroused by a fucking hot mess? Ya. Tell me about it. Sometimes crazy girls with issues are just sexy. I have this notion that they fuck better. Half of my ex girlfriends were nutty bonanza with a side of crazy pills…and fucked like champs!

This post is dedicated to all the girls with a wild look in their eye, prescription downers, and daddy issues. I love you, baby.

Free Vids Featuring Crazy Chicks that Suck Dick: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Could it be true? Are these really nude pics of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo?

A Spanish magazine published a whole set of the couple’s uncensored pics. Yes, there are more! You can view them all here. If these are really Vanessa Minnillo’s boobs, she might want to think about keeping her top AND make up on. A little waxy-wax couldn’t hurt, either. Just my 2 cents!

I’ve come across a lot of really hawt videos lately of Japanese bikini babes. The pic above is of Atsuko Okamoto, btw. Isn’t she sexy? Kinda messy and crazy looking. She’d want to fuck you long after you’d be done. I’d take nodoz to keep up, though. Trust.

Do you like to watch Asian girls dance? Here are some Japanese bikini sluts dancing just for you: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Want more? Check out this flickr group devoted to Asian bikini club photos.

Have fun this weekend. I hope you all get laid by hot Japanese girls. I’m on my way to Japantown in San Francisco, as we speak. xoxo

Before you start crying, please know that Belladonna is NOT LEAVING the business! She is concerned about all the medical risks involved with being a hardcore pornstar. She’s relatively clean (minus herpes), and she’d rather call it a day while that’s still the case.

She wrote this VERY personal message on her myspace blog today:

“I will no longer be performing with other people. I’ll still be doing solo scenes for extras on my movies and also directing, dancing and signings.

This is really a big decision for me and it hurts me in some ways, but the way I look at… it’s time to let me body relax. I just don’t want to risk getting Herpes all over my body, or in my eyes, or genital warts or even HIV Don’t worry, I’m not leaving the business, I’m just not going to be performing in front of the camera anymore. I know that is why a lot of you are my fans, but I hope you continue to be a fan of my work directing and behind the camera in the years to come. I can’t thank you all enough for supporting my career throughout the years! And I’ll still be here telling you all about my adventures in life and all of the other really hot guys and girls I’ve been shooting. So don’t go anywhere yet, I have much more in store for you.”

I feel honored to have watched her career blossom in this way. Something tells me that Belladonna’s going to make one hell of a porn director.

Here are some free hardcore videos featuring the amazing Belladonna: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. If you like what you see, check out Bella Loves Jenna. It’s a rather perfect way to celebrate 2 ex pornstars who made a huge impact on the biz.