Admittedly, I wrote that title before I wrote the content, so let’s just see what we can come up with together.
I have an idea, let’s see if we can’t find vagina salads, or perhaps better, steak on top of vagina. Well, I got close, how’s about a dude fucking a chick with a cucumber?
Thank god they’re practicing safe sex here. Cause, if that cucumber cam inside of her, well, she could give birth to THIS!!!
Now that would be some fucked up shit. How do vegetarians feel about fucking chicks with veggies? I bet they’re so into that shit.
My favorite line of the video? “Some sexual delights with a fucking banana.” Fucking bananas… genius.
Now, if you’re bored today, you can play a Pussy or Raw Meat game. Who wouldn’t want to do that? It’s actually pretty entertaining… and yes, I scored 13 out 15. Pussy and Raw Meat might be the only two things I know well. (Link)
If there’s two things I love, it’s basketball and fuckin’. So, it really only makes sense that we’d marry the two on Final Four day.
I think the folks at Brazzer’s may have played ball in their time, cause, damn, they got a lot bball porn. Watch the video above for some of the most amazing acting I’ve seen in a long time. Think Hoosiers crossed with Fuckin’ Big Titties 8. Classic story of the underdog with big ol’ tits making the game winning shot, which inevitably leads to her getting pounded in every hole, and getting Bones Malone’s NBA Finals basketball.
This is what March Madness is made of. (Also, from here on out, I’d like to be called Bones Malone.)
Everybody has a sex tape these days, including Jimi Hendrix. You know you’re a badass when you have a sex tape released 40 years after you die, and people are excited about.
Everyone knows I like celeb gossip more than any straight dude should, so the fact that I’m throwing my hat so late into the Jesse James – Michelle “Bombshell” shitshow is a bit depressing. What?! Is it my fault Pornzio has been away for a year? (Maybe)
When news came out about Jesse James fucking Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, my first thought was, “How’s Ashley Madison going to spin this for PR?” In case you missed it, Ashley Madison offered Tiger $5 million to be their spokesman in yet another genius move.
Needless to say, no one was surprised when “Bombshell” popped up on the great cam site, OnHerCam. Nor were we surprised to find out she’s a Nazi who has been fucking ol’ dude for almost a year. Kudos to OnHerCam for promoting the shit out of her, though. Pretty damn genius.
In other news, I should make sex with Sandra Bullock.
I know what you’re saying, “Holy shit, Pornzio, what the hell are you doing back? I’ve all but forgotten about you.”
It’s purely selfish, I assure you. And it’s mainly to promote Pornzio.com/m, the first mobile only adult search engine. It’s actually pretty sweet, so check it out and beat to the results when you have a chance (like after you’ve pooped… wait… if a “blumpkin” is getting head while you’re shitting, what’s the term for jerkin’ while you’re pooping? Jumpkin?)
Of course, we won’t just talk about ourselves here, no no… Once I hit publish, we’ll start writing about all the things that make a porn blog great (aka naked people).
Happy to have you back.
PS… Eva’s vagina is pretty… I’d like to go camping there.
