Archive for April, 2010

Face Down Ass Up University

Face down, ass up… that is the way I like to fuck. 2 Live Crew was so right, but not as right as Face Down Ass Up University.

Pretty novel concept, really. Just get a bunch of smokin’ hot co-eds to get naked in their dorm rooms.

Fuck, I miss college so much. This was pretty much every day for me at the Baptist college I attended. Wait…

Let’s all enroll in FDAU University!

Posted by   Toph

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Charmane Star is Sexy Asian Yum Yums

What the fuck does Sexy Asian Yum Yums mean? Hell if I know, but I like it.

Charmane Star is ridicuhot. I want to stick my crab so far up her wonton that cream cheese pours out. That’s how hot she is!

Wait, how hot is Charmane Star? She’s so hot I’d let her punch me in the asshole just so I could fuck her. That’s how hot she is!

Wait… wait… how hot is Charmane Star? I’d fuck her little Asian grandma just to tell my friends that I fuck the woman who gave birth to the woman who gave birth to Charmane Star. Yes! That’s how hot she is!

Find more Asian sexy time HERE

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Havana Ginger, What’s Areolas in Spanish?

I know how much you bustas love areolas, so I thought I’d draw your attention to in the incomparable, Havana Ginger.

I can’t help but to get boners to this sexy latina and her DD tits. I bet her areolas taste like Taco Bell Mexican Pizzas. MMmmmm… Mexican Pizza.

Have fun beating to these fun bags!

Also check out Susie Sparks giant areolas HERE!

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PORN MOTHER FUCKING ZOMBIES!!

(Click the photo for the video)

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!
This is exactly the movie my dick needs to get itself ready for a long week.

Aren’t you getting as sick as me of the vampire shit? Didn’t you kind of want to see what would have happened in I Am Legend had the zombies started fucking each other?

I imagine that zombies would love to fuck. Those bitches crazy, son.

Thankfully, Porn of the Dead finally show us some sweet, sensual zombie love. And, this isn’t a clip, it’s a full mother fucking zombie fuckfest.

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Eva Angelina, My Dick Loves You

If there’s one chick who, hands down, every time makes my dick point North, it’s Eva Angelina. She’s ball-dropping hot, sucks a mean dick and has a vagina that’s unlocked 4 mysteries of the world.

She actually left porn in for a bit (eff you, boyfriend), went to school and worked at Macaroni Grill in SoCal.

How she hasn’t made this into a film yet, is beyond me. Who doesn’t want to see Eva in a sexy Macaroni Grill uniform getting plowed by everyone from the busboys to her shift manager.

And, what if you’re working at Macaroni Grill at that time? Is there anyway you can live with yourself if you didn’t fuck her? Of course not. Well, lucky for the rest of us, we can continue to beat to her whenever we’d like. Never leave us again, Eva.

Photo Galleries

Videos

Links – 1, 2, 3, 4

Posted by   Toph

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Buy Christy’s Panties? Ok…

Who doesn’t want Yummy Used Panties from a chick whose face we haven’t seen?

I love that this is a thing. And, I applaud Christy for selling her vag soaked undies online. I’m now wondering if I could get away with selling my running sliders to chicks.

“Toph’s Running Sliders – When you need to smell the musk of a man’s sweaty balls.”

Ok, so maybe that wouldn’t go over nearly as well. You can buy Christy’s panties for around $50 each, and she’ll even IM dirty shit to you as you beat off for only $40/30 minutes.

You can even buy some panties with skid marks for an additional $25, but that’s for light poo stains. If you want heavily shit stained panties, that’s gonna cost you an extra $40.

And for you Aussies out there, you can buy her panties worn, masturbated in to orgasm, then put in a bag, and pissed over, completely soaking them in her urine, for AUD$80.

(You can also buy her piss or her boyfriend’s jizz. See site for details… member FDIC).

Find some crazy shit at ChristysPanties.SensualWriter.com

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Yo, I Gots to Get Laid Tonight

What I liked so much about Can’t Hardly Wait, was that Kenny “Special K” had to work hard to get sex on his graduation night. We all used to have to work so damn hard to put our D in the precious P.

Remember how frustrated you’d be (cause this never happened to me, sucka) when you went to the club and ended up with no vag to poke on at the end of the night?

Luckily, and I’m going to talk about technology again, we live in an amazing world. Where would we be without Adult Friend Finder, Ashley Madison, SexSearch and Fling?

Now you can easily find a chick in your area, meet up and get to fucking. I think this is the most underrated part of our society. There are websites where we can find people that want to fuck. Not only do they want to fuck, but they want to fuck right fucking now.

Um? Awesome.

Pick your favorite, become a member and start fucking whenever the hell you feel like it.

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Mobile Jerk Off

I think we underrate how awesome living today is. I mean, I’ve showed you guys some of my favorite porn TwitPics, which are awesome. Today I wanted to share with y’all some of my favorite mobile porn sites. Seriously, how awesome is our life?

There’s nothing sweeter than sneaking off into the bathroom while at your memaw’s place and beating off into her kitten towels. Well, fine, there are a lot of things better than that. In fact, dude, that’s kind of weird that you’re cleaning it with your memaw’s kitten towels. Maybe you should use a kleenex or something?

Brazzers Mobile – Endless videos to jerk it to. Brazzers will have you beatin’ for years. You can get access to over 25 sites with Brazzers Mobile. Hit up BrazzersMobile.com.

Skin Video – Become a member and get shittons of videos, photos, vods and, really, anything you can possibly beat to. Just go to SkinVideo.com/iphone

Bang Bros – Effin’ hot chicks getting fucked. Done and Done. Check out Mobile.BangBrosNetwork.com

Pornzio Mobile – Of course, if you’re looking for solid mobile content, head over to Pornzio.com on your phone, the best porn mobile search around. (Pornzio.com/blog, if you actually want to access the blog)

And, because this is all a little too informative… here’s Shyla Jennings!!

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Best Part of Waking Up is Cum in Your Cup

If there’s one thing I like to do, it’s waking up and shooting my load into my ladies cup of coffee. Mmm… that’s some tasty cream.

Apparently there’s something about the way my jizz curdles in the cup that makes it fantastically delicious, so says my lady. It’s almost like an Irish Car Bomb. Once I drop my load in the cup, you’d better down it!

Tomorrow morning, the first thing you should do when you wake up is whip up a big breakfast for your girl, make her some coffee and jerk off into it. Now that’s a breakfast in bed any gal will love.

Posted by   Toph

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Let’s Go Back to College

I dare you, room full of college chicks, to start sucking dick and have an orgy! YAY!!!! Sweet, sweet, Dare Dorm, I hope you never go away.

You may have heard the news not too long ago about a FAMU sex tape that featured some dirty ebony chicks getting pounded by the FAMU basketball team (or maybe just random students). Well, that came and went, but the awesomeness of Dare Dorm is, thankfully, still going strong.

I mean, where else can you film your own orgy, send it in, and get $10,000? Sad thing for me is, I missed a chance to get about $50,000 in college. (Do the math.)

If you’re not the kind of person to film your orgies (cause you hate memories), then at the least you can beat off to everyone else fuckin’. I really love college, almost as much as I love Dare Dorm.

Check the goods out here – Dare Dorm

Oh… and this one is amazing! Here

Posted by   Toph

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