It takes a fucking lot to get me excited on a Monday morning. But, a dude that shits while getting a blowjob is definitely up on that list.

My only concern with a blumpkin, is that I usually pee when I drop a load. Is that just me?

I love Frou Schmidt’s reaction when Dirk drops a scheiße while gettin’ head.

Hahaha… I can’t stop laughing at this video.

Guten tag, Germany.

I don’t know what it is about amateur’s that I love so much. Maybe it’s that I know there hasn’t been a 15″ dick in everyone of her holes. Because they haven’t meet me… WHUUUUUT (right… moving on…)

And, I love young, hot college chicks naked. Let’s be honest, who doesn’t?

Also, GF Revenge has given me a new fetish, naked chicks wearing baseball caps. I had no idea how effin’ hot that is.

So, what is GFRevenge? Well, you can get paid for submitting photos or videos of your ex girlfriend. Get paid $100 for a photo or a $1,000 for a video?

Wait, you don’t have photos of your ex’s? Then beat off to other dude’s throwaways!

YAY!!! ASIAN BITCHES!!!

I like when Asian chicks fuck, because they sound like how I imagine a unicorn crossed with a kitten sounds.

Now that shit would be magical and elegant.

And, you better fucking believe I found a photo of what that would look like!

(Now, fast forward to the 28 minute mark and tell you don’t think that’s how that cute little critter would sound.)

Finally, we can see what it would have been like had the cameras been on Adam West the person, instead of Adam West the Batman.

Cause y’all bitches know he was fuckin’ everybody. I mean, if you were the Caped Crusader, wouldn’t you have been tagging Catwoman, Batgirl and Poison Ivy? Not mention Vikki Vale… Vik, Vik, Vikki Vale.

Maybe that’s why I’m so excited about Batman XXX – Porn Parody from Vivid. Hell, I started beating to the trailer, and there’s no nudity.

Damn, I’m so pumped to see Tori Black as Catwoman.

Be serious, how many of y’all weirdos want to see Bruce Wayne and Alfred tag team Catwoman while Robin beats off in the corner? I know I do!

Vikki Mother Fucking Blows.

Vikki Blows is the wind beneath my wings. She’s the light at end of my tunnel. She’s the nipple at the end of my tit.

If the internet is beer, then Vikki Blows is a shot of whiskey. She just makes everything better.

Vikki takes her tittays out a lot, and this, my friends is a very good thing. They’re like the pocket watch that hypnotists use. They’ll put you in a trance where all you can is beat off. This is the best trance ever.

God, I love this girl!

Get mesmerized below!

There’s jizz in your hands right now… I KNOW IT!!

Considering how much money I lost for the Kentucky Derby, I thought I should jack off to a horse trainer fucking a school girl.

There’s a way to get over losing money, then there’s a way to get over losing money. Know what I mean?

Me either.

I ran across the Young Harlot movies not to long ago, and each video is more amazing than the next.

The above clip is from Young Harlot’s Riding School.