Remember that stupidly hot chick I wrote about a little while ago who has 100 names? Well, she has more, but whatever, she’s fucking hot.

How is she not more porn-famous?

Let’s get on that, ok?

Check out more HERE

Cinco De Mayo is like my Christmas… All the little Mexican girls come out ready to get sauced and make sexual enchiladas with their vaginas.

I’d love to put my steak fajita meat in Rachel Milan’s tortilla and cover that shit in salsa.

She makes me want to be a better person. I should introduce her to my tamale lady.

Check out more of this ridiculously hot chick HERE and HERE

I love that milk enemas is a thing.

I’d also like to say I understand the phenomenon of injecting whipped cream and other milk products into your asshole, and farting it out into someone’s mouth.

What makes me happy is that there’s someone out there who not only gets it, but is masturbating furiously to it. I appreciate this person.

Like most things, I’m trying to imagine where this idea came from. I can imagine it went a bit like this:
Her: Wait… is that whipped cream?
Him: Yup.
Her: Maybe you want to put that in a turkey baster, stick in my asshole, and then eat the whipped cream as I fart it all over your face?
Him: Well, the Knicks are about to play the Bulls… but… fuck it. Let’s do it.

And so it was born…

You know how much I love Daisy Marie?

I love her so much I want to dip my chips in her juicy queso.

Let’s do another one…
I love her so much I want to cover Daisy’s chicken enchilada with my sour cream sauce.

Wait… one more!
I love her so much… I want to bury my camarones all up in her a la diabla… ALL UP IN IT!

Aye dios mother fucking Mio, Daisy Marie…

And I like it. Cody Lane is just filthy, but isn’t that what you want in a fuck?

She’s not the most fit girl, and really, she’s not the hottest chick you’ve ever seen.
But, when she starts fingerbanging herself it’s like when the ugly duckling becomes a swan.

Well, no, it’s nothing like that. It’s more like when the thick, kinda hot chick becomes a whore, which, in hindsight, isn’t that better?

I think so.

Plus, she sucks dick like a fuckin’ champ.

Check out MadThumbs for more fuckin’.

Yep, it’s 13 wonderful minutes of a schoolgirl farting, fingering and fucking!

Try not to spill jizz on yourself till she starts farting on dick, though.

I, uh… I’m… not gonna lie… I loved every part of this.

I have problems.

Seriously.

How has Joanna Angel not started a band by this name?

As y’all know, nothing gets our dicks dancing better than Alt Girls, and Joanna is the queen of Alt Girls. Joanna isn’t just another pornstar, either. She’s a fucking legend. Not only does she direct and star in her shit, but she is the brains behind the Burning Angels, the internet’s leading AltGirl sites.

Oh, wait… did I mention that she’s fucking hot as hell? Beating off to Joanna is a damn treat.

I tell you what though… Joanna can’t steal lemons for shit.

Catch Joanna up in Vegas at the XFanz Show June 10-11th, too.

Considering how much money I lost for the Kentucky Derby, I thought I should jack off to a horse trainer fucking a school girl.

There’s a way to get over losing money, then there’s a way to get over losing money. Know what I mean?

Me either.

I ran across the Young Harlot movies not to long ago, and each video is more amazing than the next.

The above clip is from Young Harlot’s Riding School.

That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex

Lucky for you, I’ve compiled some hot booty shaking videos just for you. Loves it.

Free Booty Shaking Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

Free Anal Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12