I woke up this morning really wanting to beat off to Charmaine Star.

So I did.

Now, you can beat off to her, too.

You’re so lucky to be alive…

Alright, let’s be real here, if every hooker looked like this, well, we wouldn’t need girlfriends.

And, if every hooker sounded like this, we’d no longer need doggie whistles.

I love the way Asian chicks sound when they’re getting fucked. It’s like a chewy toy gone retarded.
The strange thing is, I now get boners when I hear the sound from chewy toys….

Enjoy the uber-sex Maria Ozawa! (and, I apologize for the strange music at the beginning…)

YAY!!! ASIAN BITCHES!!!

I like when Asian chicks fuck, because they sound like how I imagine a unicorn crossed with a kitten sounds.

Now that shit would be magical and elegant.

And, you better fucking believe I found a photo of what that would look like!

(Now, fast forward to the 28 minute mark and tell you don’t think that’s how that cute little critter would sound.)