I woke up this morning really wanting to beat off to Charmaine Star.

So I did.

Now, you can beat off to her, too.

You’re so lucky to be alive…

Alright, let’s be real here, if every hooker looked like this, well, we wouldn’t need girlfriends.

And, if every hooker sounded like this, we’d no longer need doggie whistles.

I love the way Asian chicks sound when they’re getting fucked. It’s like a chewy toy gone retarded.
The strange thing is, I now get boners when I hear the sound from chewy toys….

Enjoy the uber-sex Maria Ozawa! (and, I apologize for the strange music at the beginning…)

We all know how much I love porn and zombies together.

You know what I love even moooore? Asians!!

So when you combine Asians, Tattys and zombies I’m in boner overload.

Needless to say, I’m more excited about The Big Tits Zombie 3D than I was about Avatar.

And, The Big Tits Zombie 3D is probably not even actually in 3D.

Sushi Zombie!

If there’s one thing I love about mountain climbing, it’s fuckin’.

Actually, if there’s one thing I love about anything, it’s fuckin’.

“Say, girl, you goin’ to the store? Let’s fuck there.”

“Ey, ey, I know we at a little league baseball game, but let’s get to fuckin’.”

“Psst… Baby, this funeral blows. Let’s get to the fuckin’.”

“NO! We can’t be fuckin’ during the LOST finale! Bitch, you lost your damn mind??”

YAY!!! ASIAN BITCHES!!!

I like when Asian chicks fuck, because they sound like how I imagine a unicorn crossed with a kitten sounds.

Now that shit would be magical and elegant.

And, you better fucking believe I found a photo of what that would look like!

(Now, fast forward to the 28 minute mark and tell you don’t think that’s how that cute little critter would sound.)

What the fuck does Sexy Asian Yum Yums mean? Hell if I know, but I like it.

Charmane Star is ridicuhot. I want to stick my crab so far up her wonton that cream cheese pours out. That’s how hot she is!

Wait, how hot is Charmane Star? She’s so hot I’d let her punch me in the asshole just so I could fuck her. That’s how hot she is!

Wait… wait… how hot is Charmane Star? I’d fuck her little Asian grandma just to tell my friends that I fuck the woman who gave birth to the woman who gave birth to Charmane Star. Yes! That’s how hot she is!

Find more Asian sexy time HERE

I’ve come across a lot of really hawt videos lately of Japanese bikini babes. The pic above is of Atsuko Okamoto, btw. Isn’t she sexy? Kinda messy and crazy looking. She’d want to fuck you long after you’d be done. I’d take nodoz to keep up, though. Trust.

Do you like to watch Asian girls dance? Here are some Japanese bikini sluts dancing just for you: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Want more? Check out this flickr group devoted to Asian bikini club photos.

Have fun this weekend. I hope you all get laid by hot Japanese girls. I’m on my way to Japantown in San Francisco, as we speak. xoxo

Did you watch the Miss Universe 2007 pageant last night?

The new Miss Universe crown was handed to Riyo Mori. She’s a 20-year-old mega-hottie dancer from Japan. This is the second time Japan has won the Miss Universe pageant. Like we didn’t know that Japanese girls were super hot? DUH!

If you think she’s smokin, check out her nip slip.

After reading Fleshbot’s awesome article on better searching for japanese porn.  I was really in the mood for some good asian porn.  So I did a little looking around and found this.  It’s not exactly porn, but it’s AWESOME.

Watch the Bukkake Milk Commercial 

We’ve all jacked off to french maids and of course the dirty latina maids. But I’d like to take this niche one step closer to greatness. I’d like to introduce you to Vacuum Porn. Vacuum Porn is simply a woman and her cleaning device getting a little closer with one another. I mean if you’re a maid you take your cleaning seriously. And you want to make sure your equipment works as well as your man’s cock. That or your man’s cock doesn’t work and you need something else to take his place. Anyway…enjoy the Vacuum Lovin.

Vacuum Porn Gallery 1

Vacuum Porn Gallery 2

Vacuum Porn Gallery 3

Vacuum Porn Gallery 4

Vauum Porn Gallery 5

Vacuum Porn Gallery 6