Everyone knows I like celeb gossip more than any straight dude should, so the fact that I’m throwing my hat so late into the Jesse James – Michelle “Bombshell” shitshow is a bit depressing. What?! Is it my fault Pornzio has been away for a year? (Maybe)

When news came out about Jesse James fucking Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, my first thought was, “How’s Ashley Madison going to spin this for PR?” In case you missed it, Ashley Madison offered Tiger $5 million to be their spokesman in yet another genius move.

Needless to say, no one was surprised when “Bombshell” popped up on the great cam site, OnHerCam. Nor were we surprised to find out she’s a Nazi who has been fucking ol’ dude for almost a year. Kudos to OnHerCam for promoting the shit out of her, though. Pretty damn genius.

In other news, I should make sex with Sandra Bullock.

See her fingerbanging herself on OnHerCam – Video

Mary Carey is smart, albeit slightly crazy. A few years ago I ran into her at the kick off party for her PPV series Can You Be A Pornstar in Vegas.

I wanted to compliment her on a great party, awesome show concept, and possibly strike a licensing agreement. Mary had other plans for our talk. About 3 words into our conversation she started talking about how she doesn’t diet and neither should I. …how fans prefer meat on their pornstars. Apparently, she misunderstood who I was and thought that I was a plumper porn starlet in the making. uh, no…but thanks?

After she had rambled on for 20 minutes, I felt uncomfortable about correcting her. I just stood there smiling as she preached her ideals for the industry. You could tell that she was planning to run for Governor of California again.

Marey loves soapbox. And bless her for being so passionate about equality in porn land. At the end of her speech, she gave me a hug and wished me luck with my career. I graciously thanked her and walked away needing a cocktail.

You should really check out Can You Be A Pornstar. Climb into the mind of Mary Carey. She’s smart and I think love her.

When your hand can no longer jerk to unattainable pornstars, turn your focus to amateur girls who have shot themselves. No script. No tired looking models. ishotmyself is a fresh archive of hot average attainable POV (point of view) porn videos and photographs. Girls shoot themselves in the heat of the moment and send in their erotic art.

Check out these exhibitionist lesbians shooting themselves just for you.
Since user generated content is in the highlight of it’s twilight, you may want to jump on this bandwagon.

Sluts of the world unite in Melissa Midwest’s new contest. She is looking for the next big slut of the midwest. I mean there are a ton of slutty hot women out there so this shouldn’t be hard. I guess it will be hard sorting through all of the nasty sluts that will apply to find that next hot slut that every boy in america will start jacking off to.

The prizes for the contest aren’t shabby at all.

WINNER OF THIS CONTEST WILL GET HER VERY OWN WEBSITE, A 13 MONTH CONTRACT, AND BE PAID $100,000 OVER THOSE 13 MONTHS THE FIRST $10,000 IS PAID WHEN WINNER MOVES TO LINCOLN! YES YOU ARE GOING TO BE MOVING TO LINCOLN NEBRASKA FOR 13 MONTHS BUT TRUST ME I WILL MAKE SURE WE HAVE SOME FUN WHEN WE ARE NOT WORKING. THE REST OF THE MONEY IS PAID OVER A 13 MONTH PERIOD WITH $10,000 BEING PAID OUT EVERY 3 MONTHS UNTILL THE LAST PAYMENT WHICH WILL BE THE FINAL $60,000!

THAT’S NOT ALL! IN ADDITION TO THE $100,000 YOU WILL BE GIVEN A BRAND NEW CAR TO DRIVE AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN FULL FURNISHED APARTMENT ALL PAID FOR BY ME FOR THE ENTIRE 13 MONTHS YOU ARE HERE! I WILL SET YOU UP WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO DO YOUR SITE RIGHT FROM YOUR APARTMENT. I AM TALKING A COMPUTER, CAMERA, WEBCAM, VIDEO CAMERA–WHATEVER! I WILL TEACH YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE BUSINESS SO YOU CAN BE AS SUCCESSFUL AS POSSIBLE.

So here it is sluts of the world. It’s time to put your D on the T and make it happen. Here’s where you go to sign up. Go and be as slutty as you can be. I really hope they get a chick that starts doing hardcore. I hate watching chicks just play with themselves and jump up and down. Fucking suck a cock already.