Generally, when I’m looking for advice on sex, I look for the guy that has really bad blonde highlights.

This is for two reasons. 1. Because generally he’s the creepiest motherfucker in the room. and 2. You know he has all the time in the world to practice this type of shit.

Today, the creepiest motherfucker in the room teaches us how to suck on a tatty.

Granted, that doesn’t sound creepy, does it? Well, wait till he starts getting hosed down with breast milk.

Mmmmm… straight from the source. The giant, gross source.

There’s really not much else to say here.

I like Katie Banks’ boobies. A lot.

I don’t have any videos, or links. Just some photos of her boobs, which is awesome.

I guess I could tell a joke?
What are the small bumps around a woman’s nipples for?
It’s Braille for “suck here.”

Ok… one more.
How are woman’s breasts like electric train sets?
They were originally intended for the kids, but Daddy
always winds up playing with them.

Last one…
So a dyslexic walks into a bra…

I see this girl every where. She’s on every girlfriend site, and anywhere hot Asians are.
Yet, I have no idea her name, or how to find more of her.

So, I’m leaving it up to you, Pornzio Readers.

You guys have never failed me.

I believe in you.

Ps… BOOBS!!!

I tried to think of about 10 different titles for this post.

“Karla Spice’s Amazing Boobs Falling Out of Her Dress”

“Karla Spice, I Just Masturbated To You”

“Jizz Everywhere”

“KARLA’S BOOBIES!!!!”

So on and so forth… and the end of the day, there are 3 important things at play here.
1. Karla Spice.
2. Her tattys.
3. In video format.

Let the beatin’ begin!

I cannot stop jerking off to this.

You know how much I love Daisy Marie?

I love her so much I want to dip my chips in her juicy queso.

Let’s do another one…
I love her so much I want to cover Daisy’s chicken enchilada with my sour cream sauce.

Wait… one more!
I love her so much… I want to bury my camarones all up in her a la diabla… ALL UP IN IT!

Aye dios mother fucking Mio, Daisy Marie…

The first time I saw Violet Erotica, I had the same reaction as the Double Rainbow guy. I was shocked, excited, broke down in tears, questioned life, beat off like no tomorrow and finally weeping while beating.

Life rules.

Right, back to Violet. You can catch her doing dirty things on webcam over at OnHerCam, or head over to her site VioletErotica.com.

It’s Friday, and you know what that means!! It’s POV time!

This week’s contestant on POV Friday is the blond sexpot from Texas, Bree Olson.

Bree sucks a mean dick. Mean dicks are different than nice or normal dicks. Mean dicks will punch you in the mouth.

I’d like to introduce Bree to my mean dick. We’d play a little game. It’d be called, Can I Last In Your Mouth For 10 Seconds?

I’d lose every fucking time.

We all know how much I love porn and zombies together.

You know what I love even moooore? Asians!!

So when you combine Asians, Tattys and zombies I’m in boner overload.

Needless to say, I’m more excited about The Big Tits Zombie 3D than I was about Avatar.

And, The Big Tits Zombie 3D is probably not even actually in 3D.

Sushi Zombie!

Tell me you know who Bryci is. Seriously, just tell me. No? Well, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you hate hot naked chicks? I don’t get it.

While most chicks swim in the kiddie level at the pool, Bryci is diving poon deep off the high dive. (That means she’s fucking crazy hot, by the way.)

For reasons unknown to me, I get really excited when I pull it to Bryci. It’s like my dick is attending a concert for the first time. There’s buying the ticket, the anticipation, the event, then the encore (you can’t just beat once to Bryci, you know).

Now what are you waiting for, check out Bryci’s amazing, naked body and get to whacking.

(For an extra treat – Beat here)