Category Archives: blonde slut

Fuck A Stripper

There’s one thing I haven’t done, and it’s fucked a stripper. Well, wait, I have fucked a stripper, I mean, I dated one, but that’s not the same. That’s easy. I’ve had them beat me off in the VIP room, which is easy, too.

But, I’ve never picked up a stripper that night, taken her home and let her fuck me till the poop comes out.

Thankfully, I can beat off to other people’s feats, until I’m able to bring that stripper home. Actually, if you know me, you’ll know I always say make sure to go to her place. In a stripper’s case, that’s absolutely true. You don’t want that level of crazy knowing where you live.

Unfortunately, you won’t see how he’s able to get this stripper home, since he goes from asking “Have you ever been in a music video,” to getting his dicked sucked. Actually, maybe I’ll try that next time.

Check out more of Hannah Harper here, here and here.

Face Down Ass Up University

Face down, ass up… that is the way I like to fuck. 2 Live Crew was so right, but not as right as Face Down Ass Up University.

Pretty novel concept, really. Just get a bunch of smokin’ hot co-eds to get naked in their dorm rooms.

Fuck, I miss college so much. This was pretty much every day for me at the Baptist college I attended. Wait…

Let’s all enroll in FDAU University!

Monster DP Fantasy

wtf is this bitch doing?!

Crap. This type of monster porn gives me nightmares. Remember the post I made a while back about the dildo monster video? I think this might be worse.

This clip is part of Naughty Little Nymphos. I was searching with the keyword “Nymphos” on SkinVideo yesterday. My bad. I was feeling horny and this video just totally killed the mood. Monster Sex = Cold Shower x 1000
um. Do you know any hot chicks that jerk off to monster fantasies? Ya. Didn't think so...

Most of the scenes from Naughty Little Nymphos feature men in costumes and/or masks fucking hot chicks. If you’re into that type of fantasy, check out this and this. Super weird shit.

May (Pole) dancing

May Day reminds me of the cult-y British film from the 70s, The Wicker Man. Remember that one? Does pagan fertility pole dancing, sacrifice, and nude chicks ring a bell? How about that crazy ass song “And on that tree there was a limb; And on that limb there was a branch; And on that branch there was a nest; And in that nest there was an egg; And in that egg there was a bird; And from that bird a feather came; And of that feather was
A bed…”

Whatevs. On to the nudie film shots from the original Wicker Man. ;)

Nude Scene in Wicker Man Original Movie

Haven’t watched the original in a while? Rent it, bitch. It’s so much better than the remake. Britt Ekland plays the landlord’s daughter in The Wicker Man. In the scene shown above, this highly sexual pagan slut performs a nude dance in her room. She sings and pounds the walls with her nubile breasts and fingers. Her whore energy wakes up the cop in the next room. Loves it.

If you have a clip of this nude dance, please link me to it. I’ve been looking for it for a god damn hour, and I’m dying to watch it. Thanks in advance, pornzio peeps!

Ugly Needs Love, too.

ugo1

Every week I try to bring you guys the hottest girl on the internet, and I’m pretty proud of how well I do it. I mean, I beat to my own post. Actually, when writing, if I don’t beat to it, then I’m not going to post it. I wouldn’t want to do you that disservice. We’re here to keep you whacking. Well, on most days, that is. All is relatively slow in the hot girl world today. I haven’t seen many new chicks that I should alert you about, so instead, I’m bringing you some ugly ones. Why? Think of it as training. We can’t all go home with the hottest chicks, so you have to prepare for the ugly ones. I don’t want you get the wrong idea here. I’m not giving you atrociously horrendous chicks. Wouldn’t that be fucked up? (and kind of funny for me) No, I’m bringing you chicks that are like, “Damn, you’re ugly. You shouldn’t be ugly, though. Why are you ugly? It doesn’t make sense. Here, let me beat to you and see if you’re ugly. Yep, you’re ugly, but I’d fuck you.” I’ve actually had this happen many times in life. With that said, enjoy the ugos.

ugo3 ugo4 ugo5 ugo6

When you’ve had enough of the ugos, go here, here and here. Remember: God don’t like ugly.

Recess…

school

I miss school. I never got to go a Catholic School, but lucky for me I had plenty of sluts to go around. I miss being able to skip 2nd period because I was fucking in the science lab. That’s when I garnered the obsession with skirts. I would pull my dick out of my pants, and she would move her panties off to the side. I would slide right in, and I would cum in a petrie dish. I was once told that this chick examined my gizz under a microscope, and 9 months later she became pregnant. I don’t think it was a coincidence. One thing inevitably leads to another, and every Friday I was banging cheerleaders. I loved when they wore their outfits to school and Friday was game day. Man, maybe I need to go back to school. Can I go get a second high school diploma? Is that possible? I should probably just stick to finding high school seniors on myspace… Anyhow, here’s all you need to get you through to the end of the semester. Enjoy.

cheer

Girl of the Week… Planet Katie

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I have got to find the planet that Katie lives on. Is there a ship that takes me there? Can I drive there? Do I need a passport to get there? What ever it takes, I will be willing to do it, because I have got to fuck Planet Katie. It doesn’t matter what she does or wears, because she is so damn hot. I like to think of her as every man’s dream or at the very least, my dream. She can be blond, brunette, an office slut, a schoolgirl whore, a sexy nurse, just wearing a skirt and thong, or jeans and a tee shirt, and it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. She’s like a sexy chameleon. I’m usually not one to want to fuck reptiles, with the exception of when I saw Mario Bros. the movie, but I don’t mind what Katie is doing… ever. Wait… yeah, remember Mario Bros. the movie? Well there was one chick in Dinohattan that was so damn hot. I wanted to fuck her until she shed her lizard skin. Yes, I was in the 6th grade when it came out, but I was an early bloomer. I thought I should clear that up for you. Anyhow, I present you with the hotness known as Planet Katie. She’s special, and you should beat to her. I’m going to do that……… now.

katie1.jpg

All Beautiful Women Read Pornzio

Ok. I’m overwhelmed with the beautiful photographs that were sent in by our kick ass readers. ….who all are all foxy babes, apparently.

This submission is from Crish of CWH. If you like hot skinny blondes, Crish is your BCFF (Best Cam Friend Forever). You can tell that she’s a real blonde by the peach fuzz on the small of her back.

Sweet Jesus, I love my job. Thank you for reading Pornzio, Crish! xoxo

Cool Cat’s Photos…


As you already know Flickr is just the land of free porn. I mean if you can jack off to a still picture that is. Me I’m a video guy myself so I stick to the cocks flying in chick’s mouths and cum flying all over their faces. But like I said if you like the pics flickr is your spot. Today I came across a user by the name of
Cool Cat and his photos are fucking hot as hell. I want to hang out where he’s at. His favorites that he’s collected are pretty fucking hot too.

Check em out. Cool Cat’s PhotosCool Cat’s Favorites

World cup of my dreams…


This year’s world cup has already been better than every other one that I’ve been a part of. Mainly for the reason that the porn industry has taken such a hand in helping out the soccer peeps with a ton of promotion. I mean everyday something new comes out like: Football Babes, then pictures of wifes of soccer players, and now Zoo magazine has come up with their own Dream Team.

I’ll leave it at that. Via

OH SHIT! I totally forgot about the Asian Hotties playing soccer in the mud. So fucking hot.