Category Archives: Blowjob

Fuck A Stripper

There’s one thing I haven’t done, and it’s fucked a stripper. Well, wait, I have fucked a stripper, I mean, I dated one, but that’s not the same. That’s easy. I’ve had them beat me off in the VIP room, which is easy, too.

But, I’ve never picked up a stripper that night, taken her home and let her fuck me till the poop comes out.

Thankfully, I can beat off to other people’s feats, until I’m able to bring that stripper home. Actually, if you know me, you’ll know I always say make sure to go to her place. In a stripper’s case, that’s absolutely true. You don’t want that level of crazy knowing where you live.

Unfortunately, you won’t see how he’s able to get this stripper home, since he goes from asking “Have you ever been in a music video,” to getting his dicked sucked. Actually, maybe I’ll try that next time.

Check out more of Hannah Harper here, here and here.

BLUMPKIN VIDEO!

It takes a fucking lot to get me excited on a Monday morning. But, a dude that shits while getting a blowjob is definitely up on that list.

My only concern with a blumpkin, is that I usually pee when I drop a load. Is that just me?

I love Frou Schmidt’s reaction when Dirk drops a schei├če while gettin’ head.

Hahaha… I can’t stop laughing at this video.

Guten tag, Germany.

Charmane Star is Sexy Asian Yum Yums

What the fuck does Sexy Asian Yum Yums mean? Hell if I know, but I like it.

Charmane Star is ridicuhot. I want to stick my crab so far up her wonton that cream cheese pours out. That’s how hot she is!

Wait, how hot is Charmane Star? She’s so hot I’d let her punch me in the asshole just so I could fuck her. That’s how hot she is!

Wait… wait… how hot is Charmane Star? I’d fuck her little Asian grandma just to tell my friends that I fuck the woman who gave birth to the woman who gave birth to Charmane Star. Yes! That’s how hot she is!

Find more Asian sexy time HERE

Eva Angelina, My Dick Loves You

If there’s one chick who, hands down, every time makes my dick point North, it’s Eva Angelina. She’s ball-dropping hot, sucks a mean dick and has a vagina that’s unlocked 4 mysteries of the world.

She actually left porn in for a bit (eff you, boyfriend), went to school and worked at Macaroni Grill in SoCal.

How she hasn’t made this into a film yet, is beyond me. Who doesn’t want to see Eva in a sexy Macaroni Grill uniform getting plowed by everyone from the busboys to her shift manager.

And, what if you’re working at Macaroni Grill at that time? Is there anyway you can live with yourself if you didn’t fuck her? Of course not. Well, lucky for the rest of us, we can continue to beat to her whenever we’d like. Never leave us again, Eva.

Photo Galleries

Videos

Links – 1, 2, 3, 4

Best Part of Waking Up is Cum in Your Cup

If there’s one thing I like to do, it’s waking up and shooting my load into my ladies cup of coffee. Mmm… that’s some tasty cream.

Apparently there’s something about the way my jizz curdles in the cup that makes it fantastically delicious, so says my lady. It’s almost like an Irish Car Bomb. Once I drop my load in the cup, you’d better down it!

Tomorrow morning, the first thing you should do when you wake up is whip up a big breakfast for your girl, make her some coffee and jerk off into it. Now that’s a breakfast in bed any gal will love.

Midget Fucks His Babysitter in His Crib

After rereading the title, you’d think I was talkin’ about a new MTV show… nope… I’m talking about a baby crib.

If there’s one thing I love beatin’ to, it’s midgets dressed as babies fucking their babysitter.

Thank god sites like Fucd.com exist, because without them my fantasies wouldn’t be realized.

Line of the video? “No wonder you’re a crying baby… That’s a big boner!” Weird thing was, it wasn’t even a boner. She’s a fucking liar. And, seriously, what baby even has a goatee like that?

I never had a babysitter like this, which is why I must resort to beatin’ to the videos. Of course, I also couldn’t stand up in my crib and fuck doggystyle, so there that is.

American Gladiators – The porn version

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I got so happy last week when I saw that ESPN Classic had picked up American Gladiators. I fucking loved this show when I was a kid. I used to make my dad stay up all night and wait til the show came on at midnight. I started watching it again, and can’t believe how horrible and ummm fruity the costumes were back then. Can’t believe I thought these people were cool. Regardless…miraculously today I found the porn version of american gladiators. They had like a whole set with all the cool obstacles and everything. I only found this portion but it’s still amazing. The contestants run through the maze blind folded, then have to suck off the real cock. This has to be japan made. Good stuff.

American Gladiator Porn