Generally, when I’m looking for advice on sex, I look for the guy that has really bad blonde highlights.

This is for two reasons. 1. Because generally he’s the creepiest motherfucker in the room. and 2. You know he has all the time in the world to practice this type of shit.

Today, the creepiest motherfucker in the room teaches us how to suck on a tatty.

Granted, that doesn’t sound creepy, does it? Well, wait till he starts getting hosed down with breast milk.

Mmmmm… straight from the source. The giant, gross source.

Because you can’t spell America without Ameri… and because she’s really fucking hot.

Ameri Ichinose is a sexy Japanese girl, whose vagina is always blurred out. Trust me, it’s always blurred out. I’ve spent the past 4 hours trying to find photos of that bacon strip, and I’ve come up empty. Feel free to prove me wrong in the comments below. Go on… I dare you.

If you can’t, well, feel free to beat.

I tried to think of about 10 different titles for this post.

“Karla Spice’s Amazing Boobs Falling Out of Her Dress”

“Karla Spice, I Just Masturbated To You”

“Jizz Everywhere”

“KARLA’S BOOBIES!!!!”

So on and so forth… and the end of the day, there are 3 important things at play here.
1. Karla Spice.
2. Her tattys.
3. In video format.

Let the beatin’ begin!

You know what I like about Veronique Vega? Every fucking thing about her.

Fucking look at her! She’s the chick in school that looked innocent, till you guys had to stay late working on a project, then next you know she’s got your cock shoved all the way down her mouth. And, let’s be honest, that wasn’t much of a feat, was it?

What is it about tiny brunette’s that drives me fucking crazy? I don’t know, but I need to stop typing with two, and start beating.

Happy Friday, bitches.

I’ve been seeing Ashley Bulgari show up every now and again for about a year, and each time I think, “Man, I fucking love this chick.”

I never did anything beyond that, until today. I decided to take action on the super hot Ashley Bulgari and share her with you guys. It’s crazy how nice I am.

Turns out, she’s a Czech girl, which oddly enough has been my go to lately. I never knew I had a thing for Czech girls. Well, I do. And now I need to find a reason to visit. Should we start a porn conference over there or what?

Check out more of Ashely here, here and here.

I got the chance to met Charlie Laine while at a convention here in San Francisco recently.

And, oh my god she’s hotter in person. Rarely do chicks give me insta-boner, but Charlie managed to accomplish that feat.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around her hotness. I’ll continue to beat to her till I do.

I know what you’re asking yourself, “Did you hit on her? Did you fuck her?”

I’m sorry… I can’t even look at you guys right now… I hate myself.

`

You know how much I love Daisy Marie?

I love her so much I want to dip my chips in her juicy queso.

Let’s do another one…
I love her so much I want to cover Daisy’s chicken enchilada with my sour cream sauce.

Wait… one more!
I love her so much… I want to bury my camarones all up in her a la diabla… ALL UP IN IT!

Aye dios mother fucking Mio, Daisy Marie…

Not that I didn’t love the flat chested Micah Moore, because there’s something to be said about a chick with little tatty’s, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love the fake tattyed (grammatically correct) Micah a bit more.

You might remember a time when Micah looked like THIS.

That’s fine, I still beat off like a like 13 year old how just got his hands on his grandpa’s Playboys to her.

But now? Well, now I’m beating off to her like a 13 year old who looked out his window and saw Ms. Rachel taking a shower next door.

What the fuck am I talking about? Just enjoy… and find more of Micah at Innocent High.

The first time I saw Violet Erotica, I had the same reaction as the Double Rainbow guy. I was shocked, excited, broke down in tears, questioned life, beat off like no tomorrow and finally weeping while beating.

Life rules.

Right, back to Violet. You can catch her doing dirty things on webcam over at OnHerCam, or head over to her site VioletErotica.com.