I love that milk enemas is a thing.

I’d also like to say I understand the phenomenon of injecting whipped cream and other milk products into your asshole, and farting it out into someone’s mouth.

What makes me happy is that there’s someone out there who not only gets it, but is masturbating furiously to it. I appreciate this person.

Like most things, I’m trying to imagine where this idea came from. I can imagine it went a bit like this:
Her: Wait… is that whipped cream?
Him: Yup.
Her: Maybe you want to put that in a turkey baster, stick in my asshole, and then eat the whipped cream as I fart it all over your face?
Him: Well, the Knicks are about to play the Bulls… but… fuck it. Let’s do it.

And so it was born…

I tried to think of about 10 different titles for this post.

“Karla Spice’s Amazing Boobs Falling Out of Her Dress”

“Karla Spice, I Just Masturbated To You”

“Jizz Everywhere”

“KARLA’S BOOBIES!!!!”

So on and so forth… and the end of the day, there are 3 important things at play here.
1. Karla Spice.
2. Her tattys.
3. In video format.

Let the beatin’ begin!

Since you all seem to be such giant fans of the girl my right hand pretends to be, I thought I’d give you more.

I’m so fucking generous, aren’t I?

Seriously, though, look at Karla Spice‘s tatty’s and that fucking perfect ass.

She is so caca hot.

Check out more Here and Here

Face down, ass up… that is the way I like to fuck. 2 Live Crew was so right, but not as right as Face Down Ass Up University.

Pretty novel concept, really. Just get a bunch of smokin’ hot co-eds to get naked in their dorm rooms.

Fuck, I miss college so much. This was pretty much every day for me at the Baptist college I attended. Wait…

Let’s all enroll in FDAU University!

Hope everyone had a sexy Easter, and welcome back to work. The place where we get to look at porn all day long. Oh, that might just be my job… right.

I’d like to introduce you all to the ridiculously booty-ful Karla Spice.

Karla recently started taking her top off, and I’ve recently started getting bigger boners. Weird how that works out, isn’t it? I’m waiting for her to show off her strip of bacon, although I’m a bit worried my boner would explode.

Check out a few galleries, and, of course, enjoy the goodness below.

KARLA SPICE PART 2

Karla Bikini

Karla Sunny Day

Karla Rock Wall

It’s been such a good year for nakedness, rehab, and booze. Can you believe it’s just the beginning of March? I guess March Madness isn’t just for basketball anymore. There are two relatively large non-pornstar porn hub-bubs going on right now, and both you should keep your eyes out for. There is also one non-pornstar porn out, that you need to beat to right now! See, Pornzio looks out for you. Not only do we keep you beating, we keep you informed. Informed, I SAY!

It’s with sad news that I report Antonella Barba was voted off American Idol last night. I tuned in, so you wouldn’t have to, and to that I say, “You’re welcome.” Once again, America got it wrong. Seriously, the reason that hot chicks get voted off and idiots win is because the perverts (you and I) aren’t voting, and the soccer moms are. If you want a reason for Taylor Hicks winning last year, and Katherine McPhee losing, then look at yourself. Sure, I won’t get to pull it during her 2 minutes of horrendous singing, but I might now get to pull it to her videos. Yes, both Girls Gone Wild and Sugarland DVD have extended Antonella spokesperson contracts, both around the $500,000 range. Hopefully, Antonella will realize that the country has already seen her naked, and she’ll need the money. Here’s hoping she’ll step it up. Click her pooping to read more.

In other news, it appears as if the Kim Kardashian sex tape will be released by Vivid Entertainment, and welcomed by me. Kim’s lawyers tried to sue, but Vivid doesn’t give a shit. Here’s the quote from Steven Hirsch co-chairman of Vivid, “I met with Kim yesterday and unfortunately, we didn’t even come close to reaching an agreement. We will now immediately move forward with the release. We still remain open to any further discussion with Kim as we would like her to benefit from sales of the DVD.” I’m not sure of the release date yet, but previews will be up next week on kimksuperstar.com next week. Basically, I
WIN! Click her hotness to read more.

Lastly, Kelley Hazell has a sex tape. If you haven’t seen it yet, where have you been? I am thoroughly disappointed in you. Step it up. She has boobs like no body’s business. I am not even sure how she became famous, or what she’s famous for. Her boobs are reason enough for me. Click her sex and sign up to skinvideo.com to watch the full length tape!

Natalie Sparks is hot. Let’s say Jennifer Garner and I had a baby, it would look like Natalie Sparks. I’m not even sure what that means, but it’s true. I first came across Natalie I was, well, masturbating, and her big brown eyes were all I needed. She has big, precious boobies and that’s important. I like outfits on my ladies, and Natalie has many. She’s a 20-year-old hottie, that is fairly new to the naked game. She looks to have a D cup, but I would need to touch them to be sure. I would probably use Natalie’s boobies as punching bags, and she’d like it. Chicks dig that shit, right? She has some webcam shows where she does things like fingerbang herself. I love some watching chicks fingerbang themselves. I like it almost as much as I like saying fingerbang. But wait… there’s more. Natalie has a special little sister, Nicole Sparks. OK, so I am not positive they are sisters, but they are both hot and they have the same last name. So, check them out, and just beat it. Oh… here’s their myspace, so you know.. Natalie and Nicole. Thank God for myspace!

I have got to find the planet that Katie lives on. Is there a ship that takes me there? Can I drive there? Do I need a passport to get there? What ever it takes, I will be willing to do it, because I have got to fuck Planet Katie. It doesn’t matter what she does or wears, because she is so damn hot. I like to think of her as every man’s dream or at the very least, my dream. She can be blond, brunette, an office slut, a schoolgirl whore, a sexy nurse, just wearing a skirt and thong, or jeans and a tee shirt, and it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. She’s like a sexy chameleon. I’m usually not one to want to fuck reptiles, with the exception of when I saw Mario Bros. the movie, but I don’t mind what Katie is doing… ever. Wait… yeah, remember Mario Bros. the movie? Well there was one chick in Dinohattan that was so damn hot. I wanted to fuck her until she shed her lizard skin. Yes, I was in the 6th grade when it came out, but I was an early bloomer. I thought I should clear that up for you. Anyhow, I present you with the hotness known as Planet Katie. She’s special, and you should beat to her. I’m going to do that……… now.

As you already know Flickr is just the land of free porn. I mean if you can jack off to a still picture that is. Me I’m a video guy myself so I stick to the cocks flying in chick’s mouths and cum flying all over their faces. But like I said if you like the pics flickr is your spot. Today I came across a user by the name of Cool Cat and his photos are fucking hot as hell. I want to hang out where he’s at. His favorites that he’s collected are pretty fucking hot too.

Check em out. Cool Cat’s Photos – Cool Cat’s Favorites

Normally this photo is weird or disgusting…but today it’s just perfect. I mean I could just stare at this all day, and will continue to stare until I go home and jack off to it.