Category Archives: breast

Jerk Off Girl of the Day… Bryci

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Tell me you know who Bryci is. Seriously, just tell me. No? Well, what the fuck is wrong with you? Why do you hate hot naked chicks? I don’t get it.

While most chicks swim in the kiddie level at the pool, Bryci is diving poon deep off the high dive. (That means she’s fucking crazy hot, by the way.)

For reasons unknown to me, I get really excited when I pull it to Bryci. It’s like my dick is attending a concert for the first time. There’s buying the ticket, the anticipation, the event, then the encore (you can’t just beat once to Bryci, you know).

Now what are you waiting for, check out Bryci’s amazing, naked body and get to whacking.

(For an extra treat – Beat here)

Talia Shepard Will Blow Your Mind…

… and balls.

As I mentioned, while in Phoenix, Talia Shepard floored me every time I saw her. Never a shy person, I couldn’t even bring myself to say hello, you are awesome.

So who is that amazing chick, that was also a Twisty’s Treat of the Month?

Well, she’s from Texas, lives in Arizona has some real/amazing tattys and she sure plays a mean dodgeball.

Enjoy this amazing chick, cause I know I do.

Check out some galleries:

Talia White Dress

Talia Fucking Hot Black Dress

And check out her new site TaliaShepard.com and her twitter @taliashepard

I Miss Linsey Dawn McKenzie

What happened to Linsey Dawn McKenzie after she had a breast reduction (36HH down to a 36DD)? I miss that foxy British babe. I want new photos, videos, lesbian trysts, and blog posts from her. Natural breasts like Linsey’s will never be forgotten. …but she meant so much more to me than just squishy pillows.

Here’s a photo to ~~jugg~~ jog your ~~mamory~~ memory…

Crave more of Linsey? Me, too! I want at least one site update from her. I need it. Baby, please give me just a little current content…pleaaaseeeeeeeeeeeeee Your fans are sad. In the meantime, here are some older videos of her sweet fucking body that you can see for free.

Bonus: Watch this hardcore video of Ms. McKenzie here.

Miyabi Isshiki’s Hypnotic Boob Dance

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Do you like Japanese girls? What about Japanese gravure idol’s with humongous breasts? I saw this fucking video of Miyabi Isshiki playing with her boobs and my mouth was open the entire time. um, er…. There’s no way to explain it without sharing, so here you go.

If you like what you see, you may be interested in checking out all her non nude DVDs (Mix Juice, Boob!, Boobs Beat, and Meromeron). Make sure your DVD player can play international formats before you purchase.

Here are some free Miyabi Isshiki boob lover videos to get your Friday really pumping: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!

Girl of the Week… Bailey

bailey1

I have found the love of my life. Her name is Bailey, and she sits in her room and gets naked. You can find her on Bailey’sRoom.com. Why do I love her so much? She doesn’t take herself too seriously. Is she getting naked for money? Yes, but she sticks her tongue out, crosses her eyes, and has such a sweet ass that it’s OK with me. I also love the little moles on her left tit. I’m not gonna lie, I’d nibble on them. It’s so fucking cute. She’s half Asian and half, um, hot? Poor Bailey was home schooled and was always the “new girl”. It’s kind of strange how she can be both home schooled and the new girl, but I’m not asking questions as long as she stays in her room and gets naked. She started her site to make money for college, because college is expensive. I am going to go out of my way to make sure she gets the best education a girl can get. Just not good enough to make her keep her clothes on. As always, here is her myspace, though it doesn’t appear to be real, and will probably be gone in a week.

bailey2

Our Little Rookie Celebs…

It’s been such a good year for nakedness, rehab, and booze. Can you believe it’s just the beginning of March? I guess March Madness isn’t just for basketball anymore. There are two relatively large non-pornstar porn hub-bubs going on right now, and both you should keep your eyes out for. There is also one non-pornstar porn out, that you need to beat to right now! See, Pornzio looks out for you. Not only do we keep you beating, we keep you informed. Informed, I SAY!

It’s with sad news that I report Antonella Barba was voted off American Idol last night. I tuned in, so you wouldn’t have to, and to that I say, “You’re welcome.” Once again, America got it wrong. Seriously, the reason that hot chicks get voted off and idiots win is because the perverts (you and I) aren’t voting, and the soccer moms are. If you want a reason for Taylor Hicks winning last year, and Katherine McPhee losing, then look at yourself. Sure, I won’t get to pull it during her 2 minutes of horrendous singing, but I might now get to pull it to her videos. Yes, both Girls Gone Wild and Sugarland DVD have extended Antonella spokesperson contracts, both around the $500,000 range. Hopefully, Antonella will realize that the country has already seen her naked, and she’ll need the money. Here’s hoping she’ll step it up. Click her pooping to read more.

In other news, it appears as if the Kim Kardashian sex tape will be released by Vivid Entertainment, and welcomed by me. Kim’s lawyers tried to sue, but Vivid doesn’t give a shit. Here’s the quote from Steven Hirsch co-chairman of Vivid, “I met with Kim yesterday and unfortunately, we didn’t even come close to reaching an agreement. We will now immediately move forward with the release. We still remain open to any further discussion with Kim as we would like her to benefit from sales of the DVD.” I’m not sure of the release date yet, but previews will be up next week on kimksuperstar.com next week. Basically, I
WIN! Click her hotness to read more.

Lastly, Kelley Hazell has a sex tape. If you haven’t seen it yet, where have you been? I am thoroughly disappointed in you. Step it up. She has boobs like no body’s business. I am not even sure how she became famous, or what she’s famous for. Her boobs are reason enough for me. Click her sex and sign up to skinvideo.com to watch the full length tape!

Girl of the Week… Eve Angel

Where to start? Eve has been around for a little while, and yet I still can’t stop looking at her. She’s so hot it makes my balls hurt. Seriously, they hurt. I may need to go and get this looked at. It’s not normal, is it? Well, regardless, it’s worth it, because Eve is amazing. She’s a fucking hot Hungarian, who loves to be naked. Isn’t that what we all want: hot, naked Hungarians? Honestly, Eve Angel is arguably the first Hungarian I have ever seen, but if this is a sign of the women there, then I’m moving to Hungry. Think of the limitless amount of Hungry jokes I could use. Eve started fucking at about 17, and we in America had to wait one more year before we could watch it. My favorite thing about Eve is that while she enjoys modeling right now, she aspires to be an archaeologist (note, it’s spelled wrong in the bio:). Cute isn’t it? Dream on Eve, but for right now we’re going to go ahead and excavate your vag. For your viewing pleasure, here’s a mecca of Eve galleries. Just a warning, there may be pop-ups, and there may be spam. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go through them all. Suffice it say, after the second gallery I was finished. Also, for a special treat, and because she’s my favorite, here’s her first screen test. Her pleasure-love sounds may resemble a goat being slaughtered, but seriously, who doesn’t love that?

girl of the week… Natalie Sparks

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Natalie Sparks is hot. Let’s say Jennifer Garner and I had a baby, it would look like Natalie Sparks. I’m not even sure what that means, but it’s true. I first came across Natalie I was, well, masturbating, and her big brown eyes were all I needed. She has big, precious boobies and that’s important. I like outfits on my ladies, and Natalie has many. She’s a 20-year-old hottie, that is fairly new to the naked game. She looks to have a D cup, but I would need to touch them to be sure. I would probably use Natalie’s boobies as punching bags, and she’d like it. Chicks dig that shit, right? She has some webcam shows where she does things like fingerbang herself. I love some watching chicks fingerbang themselves. I like it almost as much as I like saying fingerbang. But wait… there’s more. Natalie has a special little sister, Nicole Sparks. OK, so I am not positive they are sisters, but they are both hot and they have the same last name. So, check them out, and just beat it. Oh… here’s their myspace, so you know.. Natalie and Nicole. Thank God for myspace!

Girl of the Week… Planet Katie

I have got to find the planet that Katie lives on. Is there a ship that takes me there? Can I drive there? Do I need a passport to get there? What ever it takes, I will be willing to do it, because I have got to fuck Planet Katie. It doesn’t matter what she does or wears, because she is so damn hot. I like to think of her as every man’s dream or at the very least, my dream. She can be blond, brunette, an office slut, a schoolgirl whore, a sexy nurse, just wearing a skirt and thong, or jeans and a tee shirt, and it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. She’s like a sexy chameleon. I’m usually not one to want to fuck reptiles, with the exception of when I saw Mario Bros. the movie, but I don’t mind what Katie is doing… ever. Wait… yeah, remember Mario Bros. the movie? Well there was one chick in Dinohattan that was so damn hot. I wanted to fuck her until she shed her lizard skin. Yes, I was in the 6th grade when it came out, but I was an early bloomer. I thought I should clear that up for you. Anyhow, I present you with the hotness known as Planet Katie. She’s special, and you should beat to her. I’m going to do that……… now.

I’m the next American Idol

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For the past 6 years I have debated on whether or not I should try out for American Idol. I’m not the best of singers, but I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t pretty fucking sexy. Isn’t that what really counts anyways? I mean, most of those kids are no talent ass-clowns, but they get to Hollywood based on their looks. Each year some one asks, “Toph, are you going to try out for American Idol?” And each year I respond, “No, I’m going to be fucking.” Yes, fucking is more important to me than winning American Idol. Well, that was until a few years ago when it was announced that Paula Abdul had sex with one of the contestants. Why wasn’t I made aware that I could Rush Rush into Paula’s vag? Or, that we could take two steps forward and one step back in the bedroom? Those are the only Paula Abdul songs I know, sorry. We all know that she loves her some weed, at least it appears so. After hearing that story, I figured that I, like Paula, could blend both my love for American Idol and my love for pokin’. Then from out of the skies, I found Desperate Popstars. I love desperate chicks. These chicks may be the worst singers ever, and isn’t that the best part of American Idol anyways? They are also really fuckin’ hot, and have lots of sex. There may not be a better combination, but yes, there’s more. The two dudes sound like Borat mixed with a donkey. Think about it. So, let’s recap, shall we? Bad singers, Borat, hot chicks, fucking, and Paula Abdul naked… oh wait… never mind.