I’m pretty sure Melanie Rios was fucked by Charlie Sheen recently.

However, I think most pornstars were fucked by Charlie Sheen.

Melanie is a spicy little Latina’s, and you all know how much I love spicy little Latina’s.

Now, let’s all grab our dicks and get to beatin!

And to keep beating… go here, here and here.

Mother fuck, I don’t even know where to begin. What do you get when you combine Taylor Townsend, protons, neutrons, electrons and fucking? The greatest video ever!!
Oh, I’m the only one that watched The O.C.?

As someone who gets really hard when talking about science, and, more importantly, someone who fucking loves Autumn Reeser, I’ve beat to this a record 13 times in 30 minutes. Something about Reeser making orgasm happen while talking about atoms just gets me going. Never mind the fact that she’s banging Antonio Banderas. Aye, aye, aye…

Look for The Big Bang (wait, it’s not a porn?) due out sometime this year… Please don’t beat off in the theatre.

Check out more naked celebs with our friends at Mr. Skin.

We were talking about movies from our childhood in the office today, when someone brought up Little Giants. Man, I loved Little Giants.

Curious of what happened to Ice Box, the sassy linebacker who was more tomboy than sexpot, I decided to do a little google search. And, after pouring over her IMDB, finding out her name is Shawna Waldron, I discovered she was another actress in a long line ladies taking it off in the captivating Poison Ivy movies. YES!!! FUCK YES!!

How is this not featured in any VH1 Child Star Top 50 countdowns?!

Nevertheless, I bet you can squeeze off a bit of jiz from Shawna Waldron. I know I have… thrice.

I need to get me a mother fuckin’ sex tape.

Everybody has a sex tape these days, including Jimi Hendrix. You know you’re a badass when you have a sex tape released 40 years after you die, and people are excited about.

I bet Hendrix tears that vagina up.

Tape will be released May 3rd.

Will you watch?

(Source = NME)

Everyone knows I like celeb gossip more than any straight dude should, so the fact that I’m throwing my hat so late into the Jesse James – Michelle “Bombshell” shitshow is a bit depressing. What?! Is it my fault Pornzio has been away for a year? (Maybe)

When news came out about Jesse James fucking Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, my first thought was, “How’s Ashley Madison going to spin this for PR?” In case you missed it, Ashley Madison offered Tiger $5 million to be their spokesman in yet another genius move.

Needless to say, no one was surprised when “Bombshell” popped up on the great cam site, OnHerCam. Nor were we surprised to find out she’s a Nazi who has been fucking ol’ dude for almost a year. Kudos to OnHerCam for promoting the shit out of her, though. Pretty damn genius.

In other news, I should make sex with Sandra Bullock.

See her fingerbanging herself on OnHerCam – Video

The current WGA strike has brought some serious issues to light. Where would hollywood be without writers? My heart goes out to all involved with the strike.

Some of you will remember me saying previously that I have a celeb-crush on Maggie Gyllenhaal. Well, she recently did a video spoof on the WGA strike. For all of you who have fantasized about Ms. Gyllenhaal going lesbo…this is for you. Watch the video here.

For more on Maggie Gyllenhaal, click here.

Clearly….

I love celebrity nip slips. It’s cool, Natalie. I find Hillary Clinton sexy, too. I’ve wanted to slip her the tuna finger ever since I was in High School. Take one for the team, grrrl!

Apparently a lot of people find Hillary Clinton attractive. Do you?

Duh…but does she love those squishy pillows more then we do? This video shows Heidi Klum in a bra – playing with her breasts.

God bless TMZ‘s video editors. This clip ends in a tour de force score of Heidi Klum’s laughter. Enjoy.

Could it be true? Are these really nude pics of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo?

A Spanish magazine published a whole set of the couple’s uncensored pics. Yes, there are more! You can view them all here. If these are really Vanessa Minnillo’s boobs, she might want to think about keeping her top AND make up on. A little waxy-wax couldn’t hurt, either. Just my 2 cents!

Being a hot celebrity is not all it’s cracked up to be. Money, fame, personal trainers, fans, gift bags, VIP everything… Lindsay works hard for the money, but you can tell she’s still kinda emo. When she’s trippin ballz at her luxury apt, she’s still so alone. [awww]

Whatever… she makes emo look sexy!

So are Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Minnillo lesbo cutters or what?

Oh, and more sexy emo pics of Lohan…

You know that this photo series probably has an all-nude lesbo side that hasn’t leaked yet. One can only hope that we’ll get a chance to see those, too.