For the past 6 years I have debated on whether or not I should try out for American Idol. I’m not the best of singers, but I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t pretty fucking sexy. Isn’t that what really counts anyways? I mean, most of those kids are no talent ass-clowns, but they get to Hollywood based on their looks. Each year some one asks, “Toph, are you going to try out for American Idol?” And each year I respond, “No, I’m going to be fucking.” Yes, fucking is more important to me than winning American Idol. Well, that was until a few years ago when it was announced that Paula Abdul had sex with one of the contestants. Why wasn’t I made aware that I could Rush Rush into Paula’s vag? Or, that we could take two steps forward and one step back in the bedroom? Those are the only Paula Abdul songs I know, sorry. We all know that she loves her some weed, at least it appears so. After hearing that story, I figured that I, like Paula, could blend both my love for American Idol and my love for pokin’. Then from out of the skies, I found Desperate Popstars. I love desperate chicks. These chicks may be the worst singers ever, and isn’t that the best part of American Idol anyways? They are also really fuckin’ hot, and have lots of sex. There may not be a better combination, but yes, there’s more. The two dudes sound like Borat mixed with a donkey. Think about it. So, let’s recap, shall we? Bad singers, Borat, hot chicks, fucking, and Paula Abdul naked… oh wait… never mind.

That’s right, Dirt fans! Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston are going to give you the lesbian action you’ve been hoping for all these years. Set your Tivos, DVR’s, and the like.

You know that Courtney has just been waiting years to find a reason to kiss Jennifer lesbo style. Haven’t we all?! I wish that they’d just come out already, buy a house together, and adopt an Asian baby.

Dear Courtney and Jennifer:

You girls are so cute! I know that your secret love for each other has been on the back burner for some time now. I feel your pain. Now is the time to let your fans know. Be brave! Lesbian love is hot and more accepted than it used to be. In addition to it being super sexy, it would boost your celeb status 10 fold. TV needs a new celeb-lesbo-power-couple. It’s the right time to come out, ladies. Brangelina has nothing on your sex appeal. Fuck them!

You Go Girls,

lesbodojo

P.S. Cournifer?!

The infamous lez kiss should happen on the season finale of Dirt (which runs on the FX channel). Jennifer will play a lesbian editor at a rival celeb magazine. If you can’t wait until March, check out this archive of photochopped celeb pics. They make all your fav celeb babes look mad dirty.

The idea that Eva and Beyonce were going to finger fuck in a Sofia Coppola adaption of Tipping The Velvet had me all juicy and ready to go. Beyonce would look so fucking hot strapping it on for Eva Longoria. Mamamia!

Unfortunately, these luscious stars have revealed this week that they are not performing scissor sex in the Victorian drama. Damnit! Why are female stars so worried about being cast as a lesbian in a feature film? The reality is that it would probably help their career. Lots of female actresses have gone gay for pay and reaped the benefits therein. There’s not as much stigma with taking on a lesbian role.

You might ask, “is there an upside to this upset?” Yes! I’m finding lots of user posted celeb fakes of Eva and Beyonce getting it on. Too funny. Check out all the celeb fakes here.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love stolen sex tapes? I do. I live for celebrity sex scandals. And this Britney/K-Fed/Honeymoon sex video (that was pre-weight gain) has me in a tizzy. Like a lot of surfers, I’ve been doing my regular search on user posted video sites for the Britney tape. Nada.

The minute I have a clip of it, and determine that it’s not fake, I’ll post it here. Bookmark us so that you don’t miss out.

My prediction is that Britney will follow the road paved by other female celebrities involved with sex scandal before her. She’ll weigh licensing the sex tape with Kevin Federline over paying him more in the divorce settlement…and choose porn. Then she’ll make money on the dl and deny it to the public. Hell, Britney will probably cry on tv about the whole experience and tell her fans that she never knew about the tape or the celebrity sites who sell it. Britney’s next album will get a boost from the extra press. Look what it did for Paris Hilton!

So you see, everyone wins with a juicy celebrity sex scandal. …porn site producers, celebrities, the stupid boyfriend, and the public. I love you Britney! Please let us see your honeymoon sex tape!

I LIKE NAKED SLUTS. You know this, I shouldn’t have to say it. But once every 6 full moons a beauty comes out of the darkness that doesn’t even have to be a slut. She’s so beautiful that just looking at her makes me want to shoot a load all over the screen. I’ve thought that Sarah Shahi was gorgeous from the first time I saw her in Boston Public. She’s now a major role in the L word series where she plays a sexy dj named Carmen. Oh and she’s from texas. Good things just come from the south. Speaking of the south, Sarah used to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader back in 1999. This site has a good amount of Sarah Shahi photos. This one is my favorite.

You may have remembered that I’m a big fan of the Bob Barker. Well today I found a video on Fucd.com that made me like him even more. It’s amazing how many big bouncing tittied ladies get picked on his show. You have to wonder how many backstage blowjobs he’s gotten in his career. Him and Hef might be able to compare notches. Anyway check out this video of price is right contestants with big bouncing titties running down the aisle. Good stuff.

Check out this issue of Flaunt Magazine to see the hottest S&Mesque photoshoot with none other than Scarlette Johansson and Dita von Teese. [O'RLY? YaRLY!] Scarlette is so hot as a lesbo top.

Who am I kidding? She’d be a hot sub, too.

Thanks to PopSugar to for the tip! We love you long time. xoxo

If you don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy you’re a retard. I know you’re probably sick of the doctor shows and so am I, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to watch the only show that has super hot female doctors. I mean most of my dreams I’m thinking about while I’m jacking off are about the girls from Grey’s Anatomy. Today it’s all about Katherine Heigl who plays Izzy. Just her character is hot. She was a lingerie model to put herself through school and is now a doctor. So she’s smokin hot and super smart. I love it. She has her own website that shows off her assets, but she needs to fire her designer cause he put up the ugliest photo of her as a main attraction. Regardless she has hot photos in Maxim and FHM. There are plenty more but those are just a couple of my favorites. She would definately be on my list of celebrities I’m allowed to fuck. Thanks Kineda

As I was paging through XXL today, I came across this smokin Video Hoe. Video Hoes are those bionic babes that drop it like it’s hot in rap music videos. This reminds me of of something the great Snoop Dogg said, “without hoes life would be fucked up.”

So true. God bless all the Video Hoes.

This particular video hoe is named Erica. She’s was featured in Big Boi’s “Kryptonite (I’m on It),” Juvenile’s “Rodeo,” Bubba Sparxxx’s “Ms. New Booty” and Biggie’s “Spit Your Game.” 34C-24-38, goddamnit. That body is no joke.

Then there’s the ultra-fly ebony model slash Video Hoe La’Shontae Heckard…

La’Shontae is in Fat Joe & Nelly’s “Get it Poppin,” Dru Hill’s “I Should Be,” Busta Rhymes & Mariah Carey’s “Give It To Me,” 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop,” Ludacris & DTP’s “Growing Pains RMX” Gucci Mane Feat. Young Jeazy’s “So Icy,” and Kanye West’s “Golddigger.” She’s clearly made a career out of being the hot chick in videos.

I really hope the next step for these chicks is porn. Is that so wrong? The music they could license for the adult videos would be hot. Ladies, let me be your manager…

Since I started my day looking at asian porn, I figured I’d just keep that energy flowing. So I found over at Asian Sirens that Yunjin Kim, the asian from lost, is on the cover of Stuff Magazine. All I can really say is FINALLY! I mean the girl is hot, but on the show she’s always wearing jeans and fucking button up shirt. I mean you’re on an island. Lose the clothes and fucking show me some skin. Anyway she finally did somewhere at least. Check out the photos.