Reason #471 we love Joanna Angel, her blowup doll tried to take over her life.

Look, shit like that happens when you have a doll made in your likeness. Joanna’s new film, tentatively called “Doppleganger,” will be out in August, but you can get hooked up before you beat off.

All you gotta do is make a video with the Joanna Angel doll, post it up on vimeo or youtube, and then win. By the way, no fucking the doll allowed, folks. Just be creative and hilarious, and you’ll win.

And, if you don’t win, well, you still get to fuck Joanna… sort of…

First prize gets $1,000 worth of Topco and Joanna Angel/Burning Angel shit, so make it happen.

Check out more at BlowJoannaUp.com or on Joanna’s Blog.

(Oh, and thanks for the photo, James Deen.)

Did anyone watch So You Think You Can Dance last night? Lacey and Danny were learning a new Viennese Waltz routine. In one section, she’s supposed to slide underneath him and duck her head. Lacey was almost all the way through, and her head knocked up (hard) and hit his junk. Lacey started giggling and said, ”My head hit Danny’s goodies!” Whatever. I know at least 20 gay men who would have loved to be in her position. P’okay!

Did you watch the Miss Universe 2007 pageant last night?

The new Miss Universe crown was handed to Riyo Mori. She’s a 20-year-old mega-hottie dancer from Japan. This is the second time Japan has won the Miss Universe pageant. Like we didn’t know that Japanese girls were super hot? DUH!

If you think she’s smokin, check out her nip slip.

Miss Femme sent in this sweet pic of her in a sailor costume. She makes me want to dress up like a pirate and steal that booty asap. Am I wrong?

It looks her girlfriend, Chloe, had a similar idea…

Leave a comment to vote for your favorite cam hottie! If you want to see more of these girls, check out their myspace profile.

Yes. Smokin babes all over the world jerk off to Pornzio! Remember my hot girl cam battle a couple of months ago? Well feast your eyes on these new pics…

While the CamWithHer babes were in Houston recently, they decided to send me more sexy pics on the road. This marks yet another cam girl battle for our affection. Which girl do you think is the hottest?

It’s so hard to decide between these foxy amateurs. I love them all!
Leave comments for which babe you think is the most attractive. I’ll do a feature on the amateur that gets the most positive responses. Deal?

Mary Carey is smart, albeit slightly crazy. A few years ago I ran into her at the kick off party for her PPV series Can You Be A Pornstar in Vegas.

I wanted to compliment her on a great party, awesome show concept, and possibly strike a licensing agreement. Mary had other plans for our talk. About 3 words into our conversation she started talking about how she doesn’t diet and neither should I. …how fans prefer meat on their pornstars. Apparently, she misunderstood who I was and thought that I was a plumper porn starlet in the making. uh, no…but thanks?

After she had rambled on for 20 minutes, I felt uncomfortable about correcting her. I just stood there smiling as she preached her ideals for the industry. You could tell that she was planning to run for Governor of California again.

Marey loves soapbox. And bless her for being so passionate about equality in porn land. At the end of her speech, she gave me a hug and wished me luck with my career. I graciously thanked her and walked away needing a cocktail.

You should really check out Can You Be A Pornstar. Climb into the mind of Mary Carey. She’s smart and I think love her.

The 30th annual Mrs. America pageant was broadcast on the WE channel this weekend. I’m not sure exactly why, though. I highly doubt that women are their core demographic. Ah, well. You’re lucky the lesbian caught it.

A chick named Diane Tucker from Arizona won the crown. My favorite part of the competition was probably the swimsuit walk and their interviews. It’s clear why a MILF lover like myself would appreciate the swimsuit portion of the competition. However, the interviews are choice for humor. I hate to be the one to say it, but some of these girls aren’t so bright.

Answers such as “I really believe in like literacy” make me laugh (and love them even more). As CrackaAss says, “dumb is beautiful.” So true.

Sluts of the world unite in Melissa Midwest’s new contest. She is looking for the next big slut of the midwest. I mean there are a ton of slutty hot women out there so this shouldn’t be hard. I guess it will be hard sorting through all of the nasty sluts that will apply to find that next hot slut that every boy in america will start jacking off to.

The prizes for the contest aren’t shabby at all.

WINNER OF THIS CONTEST WILL GET HER VERY OWN WEBSITE, A 13 MONTH CONTRACT, AND BE PAID $100,000 OVER THOSE 13 MONTHS THE FIRST $10,000 IS PAID WHEN WINNER MOVES TO LINCOLN! YES YOU ARE GOING TO BE MOVING TO LINCOLN NEBRASKA FOR 13 MONTHS BUT TRUST ME I WILL MAKE SURE WE HAVE SOME FUN WHEN WE ARE NOT WORKING. THE REST OF THE MONEY IS PAID OVER A 13 MONTH PERIOD WITH $10,000 BEING PAID OUT EVERY 3 MONTHS UNTILL THE LAST PAYMENT WHICH WILL BE THE FINAL $60,000!

THAT’S NOT ALL! IN ADDITION TO THE $100,000 YOU WILL BE GIVEN A BRAND NEW CAR TO DRIVE AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN FULL FURNISHED APARTMENT ALL PAID FOR BY ME FOR THE ENTIRE 13 MONTHS YOU ARE HERE! I WILL SET YOU UP WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO DO YOUR SITE RIGHT FROM YOUR APARTMENT. I AM TALKING A COMPUTER, CAMERA, WEBCAM, VIDEO CAMERA–WHATEVER! I WILL TEACH YOU EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT THE BUSINESS SO YOU CAN BE AS SUCCESSFUL AS POSSIBLE.

So here it is sluts of the world. It’s time to put your D on the T and make it happen. Here’s where you go to sign up. Go and be as slutty as you can be. I really hope they get a chick that starts doing hardcore. I hate watching chicks just play with themselves and jump up and down. Fucking suck a cock already.