I cannot stop jerking off to this.

If there’s one thing I like to do, it’s waking up and shooting my load into my ladies cup of coffee. Mmm… that’s some tasty cream.

Apparently there’s something about the way my jizz curdles in the cup that makes it fantastically delicious, so says my lady. It’s almost like an Irish Car Bomb. Once I drop my load in the cup, you’d better down it!

Tomorrow morning, the first thing you should do when you wake up is whip up a big breakfast for your girl, make her some coffee and jerk off into it. Now that’s a breakfast in bed any gal will love.

It’s not everyday that porn can actually make you hungry. Sure it’ll make you horny, you’ll have crazy wild woman punch me in the face sex, and then you’ll be hungry and have to munch on something. But how often do you look at a snatch and think “mmmm a big mac would really hit the spot right now.” I really had to give this pussy burger a double take. It just screamed McDonalds to me. So I dubb thee McDonald’s new McSnatch.

Lets not let the fun stop there. Now we’d like to introduce Wienerschnitzel’s famous All Beef Plumper Dog. As you can see above Amanda likes her dog pretty simple. A little mustard and ketchup and she’s ready to gobble this dog deep down her throat.

Now you know you can’t eat all this food without something to flush it down with. How about a 7eleven Super Big Gulp of only the finest California Cum. It’s been freshly brewed and has received numerous taste tasting awards. If you’re still hungry for the flesh, be sure to read up on The Taste of Porn. And if you’re more the healthy type, why not try a little sushi? Enjoy the meal and if you’ve got more food for me link to it in the comments.