Let’s all think back, shall we? Let’s think back to a time when we were 18. For me it’s not too hard, because it wasn’t that long ago, but for some of you, just pretend. When I was graduated high school I had a world of possibilities ahead of me. College was around the corner, where I would study law and theatre and make something of myself. I, of course, ended up here on Pornzio. Follow your dreams children! Kari Sweets is 18, and cameras are staring her in face. Oddly enough, she ended up here, too, and thank God for it. Not so much Pornzio, but porn, which is close enough. I like to beat to Kari, and writing about her is even better. It sort of justifies my travels from 18 to now, because when I was 18, I don’t remember chicks looking like that. Actually, I do, and I fucked them, but that doesn’t make for a very good story, now does it? Kari is so hot, Front Magazine named her #2 chick on the net. Right behind, Raven Riley, who I choose not to write about, because if I did I would start beating off at work, and people would get mad at me. (Those damn conservative bitches.) Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the sweetness of Kari Sweets. What? You knew I would use that! Kari Sweets is so fucking cute. She looks like a little lion who wants to have candy and sex. I fucking love candy and sex. As always, click for her myspace. Late.
Archive for the 'girl of the week' Category
Yes, the girl of the week is American Idol’s Antonella Barba. The internet has been buzzing today with news of this beauty’s naked photo’s popping up everywhere. You didn’t think she wouldn’t pop up on Pornzio, did you? Come on! I live for hot naked teens. For the past few weeks, I have been itching to beat to her, and thankfully I don’t have to worry about Randy Jackson popping up anymore. It looks like she sucks a mean cock, too! Enjoy this New Jersey hoe! She now has my vote, I don’t care how awful her singing is.
Note: Everyone is on this shit right now, so it may take a while….
*thanks to idontlikeyouinthatway.com and hollywoodgrind.com for being amazing.
Where to start? Eve has been around for a little while, and yet I still can’t stop looking at her. She’s so hot it makes my balls hurt. Seriously, they hurt. I may need to go and get this looked at. It’s not normal, is it? Well, regardless, it’s worth it, because Eve is amazing. She’s a fucking hot Hungarian, who loves to be naked. Isn’t that what we all want: hot, naked Hungarians? Honestly, Eve Angel is arguably the first Hungarian I have ever seen, but if this is a sign of the women there, then I’m moving to Hungry. Think of the limitless amount of Hungry jokes I could use. Eve started fucking at about 17, and we in America had to wait one more year before we could watch it. My favorite thing about Eve is that while she enjoys modeling right now, she aspires to be an archaeologist (note, it’s spelled wrong in the bio:). Cute isn’t it? Dream on Eve, but for right now we’re going to go ahead and excavate your vag. For your viewing pleasure, here’s a mecca of Eve galleries. Just a warning, there may be pop-ups, and there may be spam. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go through them all. Suffice it say, after the second gallery I was finished. Also, for a special treat, and because she’s my favorite, here’s her first screen test. Her pleasure-love sounds may resemble a goat being slaughtered, but seriously, who doesn’t love that?
Natalie Sparks is hot. Let’s say Jennifer Garner and I had a baby, it would look like Natalie Sparks. I’m not even sure what that means, but it’s true. I first came across Natalie I was, well, masturbating, and her big brown eyes were all I needed. She has big, precious boobies and that’s important. I like outfits on my ladies, and Natalie has many. She’s a 20-year-old hottie, that is fairly new to the naked game. She looks to have a D cup, but I would need to touch them to be sure. I would probably use Natalie’s boobies as punching bags, and she’d like it. Chicks dig that shit, right? She has some webcam shows where she does things like fingerbang herself. I love some watching chicks fingerbang themselves. I like it almost as much as I like saying fingerbang. But wait… there’s more. Natalie has a special little sister, Nicole Sparks. OK, so I am not positive they are sisters, but they are both hot and they have the same last name. So, check them out, and just beat it. Oh… here’s their myspace, so you know.. Natalie and Nicole. Thank God for myspace!
I have got to find the planet that Katie lives on. Is there a ship that takes me there? Can I drive there? Do I need a passport to get there? What ever it takes, I will be willing to do it, because I have got to fuck Planet Katie. It doesn’t matter what she does or wears, because she is so damn hot. I like to think of her as every man’s dream or at the very least, my dream. She can be blond, brunette, an office slut, a schoolgirl whore, a sexy nurse, just wearing a skirt and thong, or jeans and a tee shirt, and it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. She’s like a sexy chameleon. I’m usually not one to want to fuck reptiles, with the exception of when I saw Mario Bros. the movie, but I don’t mind what Katie is doing… ever. Wait… yeah, remember Mario Bros. the movie? Well there was one chick in Dinohattan that was so damn hot. I wanted to fuck her until she shed her lizard skin. Yes, I was in the 6th grade when it came out, but I was an early bloomer. I thought I should clear that up for you. Anyhow, I present you with the hotness known as Planet Katie. She’s special, and you should beat to her. I’m going to do that……… now.