If fuckingmachines.com doesn’t know about the guy who made this, they need to find him.  How awesome is this? Not only do you get to masturbate, but you also get to ride around town on a go cart.  This is like a mix of exhibitionist, masturbation, fetish and racing.  Just think if they were remote control.  You could put your lady on one, and your friends lady on the other and race them through town.  I real meet the neighbors kinda thing.

Check out this video of the Dildo Go Kart 

The video series, Honey We Blew Up Your Pussy is so wrong it’s right. The plot is as follows: 1) whore visits doctor 2) insane doctor takes bicycle pump to pussy 3) suction pulls the womans inner and outer pussy lips to the point of elephantitis 4)whore with inflated pussy gets penetrated. Perhaps in this case, a picture is worth a thousand words…

Check out this before and after shot of her blown up pussy…

Yep. There are 2 kinds of porn: one you jerk off to alone, and the other that you gross your friends out with. I think you know which category Honey, We Blew Up Your Pussy falls into. ahem.

BEEP: I’m sorry. I could pick up my cell, but I don’t want to. I have it set to vibrate and it’s deep inside my pussy. This cell phone fucking movie just changed my life.



Apparently lots of girls fuck their cell phone. I had no idea. I mean, I like to talk on the phone. …but not in a love you long time kinda way.

My favorite day is saturday. I love saturday cause of my weekly morning time activity. I wake up,give a lil stretch, go to the kitchen, pour a bowl of cheerios, sit down, turn on my cartoons, and then put my dick in my girl’s mouth. There is nothing better than just sitting there enjoying my cereal and my cartoons, and getting pleasure at the same time. I mean it’s right up there with getting a massage and getting jacked off at the same time. You can’t beat doing nothing at all and still getting to cum.

This weekend I started to feel a lil bad that my girl was giving me this pleasure, and I wasn’t giving her anything in return. So it got me thinking. What can I do for her…that she can just sit there and do nothing…and it still get her off. Nothing came to mind until this morning. When I ran across a magnificent site called Fucking Machines. When you see it you’ll know what I’m talking about, but it’s perfect. I can buy her a chair that she can sit next to me while I’m watching my cartoons and be getting rammed by a massive dildo. And all without me sacrificing my cheerios. Love it.

It’s like that machine is just rocking her to sleep.

Screaming is a good thing.

This looks like a super soaker 5000 machine gun. I want one.

So check out some machines ramming things into tight pussies and making them scream
Fucking Machines

There are also a few galleries of fucking machines in the Video and Image pages of pornzio as well. Check em out.