Mornin’ to you, sirs. Hope you’re all feelin’ jolly good today.

I was watching videos of a few birds squirting all over their knickers, when I ran across Wild Anna. Blimey, I nearly spit out my bloody tea and biscuits all over over the yard when I spotted this

Bloody hell! She’s fucking fit, isn’t she?

I can’t believe I haven’t seen this girl give herself a proper fuck.

Christ, I think I found a new love.

(And, if you can’t tell, she’s British)

Where to start? Eve has been around for a little while, and yet I still can’t stop looking at her. She’s so hot it makes my balls hurt. Seriously, they hurt. I may need to go and get this looked at. It’s not normal, is it? Well, regardless, it’s worth it, because Eve is amazing. She’s a fucking hot Hungarian, who loves to be naked. Isn’t that what we all want: hot, naked Hungarians? Honestly, Eve Angel is arguably the first Hungarian I have ever seen, but if this is a sign of the women there, then I’m moving to Hungry. Think of the limitless amount of Hungry jokes I could use. Eve started fucking at about 17, and we in America had to wait one more year before we could watch it. My favorite thing about Eve is that while she enjoys modeling right now, she aspires to be an archaeologist (note, it’s spelled wrong in the bio:). Cute isn’t it? Dream on Eve, but for right now we’re going to go ahead and excavate your vag. For your viewing pleasure, here’s a mecca of Eve galleries. Just a warning, there may be pop-ups, and there may be spam. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go through them all. Suffice it say, after the second gallery I was finished. Also, for a special treat, and because she’s my favorite, here’s her first screen test. Her pleasure-love sounds may resemble a goat being slaughtered, but seriously, who doesn’t love that?

We’ve all jacked off to french maids and of course the dirty latina maids. But I’d like to take this niche one step closer to greatness. I’d like to introduce you to Vacuum Porn. Vacuum Porn is simply a woman and her cleaning device getting a little closer with one another. I mean if you’re a maid you take your cleaning seriously. And you want to make sure your equipment works as well as your man’s cock. That or your man’s cock doesn’t work and you need something else to take his place. Anyway…enjoy the Vacuum Lovin.

Vacuum Porn Gallery 1

Vacuum Porn Gallery 2

Vacuum Porn Gallery 3

Vacuum Porn Gallery 4

Vauum Porn Gallery 5

Vacuum Porn Gallery 6

If fuckingmachines.com doesn’t know about the guy who made this, they need to find him.  How awesome is this? Not only do you get to masturbate, but you also get to ride around town on a go cart.  This is like a mix of exhibitionist, masturbation, fetish and racing.  Just think if they were remote control.  You could put your lady on one, and your friends lady on the other and race them through town.  I real meet the neighbors kinda thing.

Check out this video of the Dildo Go Kart 

This one kinda just explains itself.  It’s a chick masturbating while she sings karaoke.  I mean it’s talent.  I can barely say “oh you bitch you like that” while I masturbate.  The japanese ladies are talented.

Watch a japanese girl masturbate while she sings karaoke

I really love me some Japanese Porn. I mean half the time I don’t understand why some of the weird shit they do would be called hot, but regardless I love how creative they are. For instance this video I found today. A few guys cum in this japanese teens mouth, and she holds it there. Nope that’s not the end of it. She holds it there while she talks to someone on the phone. I don’t speak japanese, but I think the conversation went something like this.

Daughter: Hey Mom…gurgle gurgle
Mom: Stop talking with your mouth full!
Daughter: I can’t help it…it taste so good. I can’t stop…gurgle gurgle
Mom: What are you eating?
Daughter: This new gravy my friends made…gurgle gurgle
Mom: Bring me home some…I want to try it.
Daughter: Shit I got some in my eye!…gurgle gurgle

I love crazy asians. But if asian crazyness isn’t enough for you check out this video of a mom who cares more about her man cumming than her kid crying. That’s my kinda woman.

Today a new site came out that just makes my theory more real. Women really don’t need us. With the toys out today, women are better off without us for sure. After watching these videos of chicks masturbating with dildos and vibrators. I now have seen how a woman actually act when they cum. My girl has some explaining to do.

Check out MeAndMyDildo.com