Vikki Mother Fucking Blows.

Vikki Blows is the wind beneath my wings. She’s the light at end of my tunnel. She’s the nipple at the end of my tit.

If the internet is beer, then Vikki Blows is a shot of whiskey. She just makes everything better.

Vikki takes her tittays out a lot, and this, my friends is a very good thing. They’re like the pocket watch that hypnotists use. They’ll put you in a trance where all you can is beat off. This is the best trance ever.

God, I love this girl!

Get mesmerized below!

There’s jizz in your hands right now… I KNOW IT!!

With all the talk of turkey and mashed potatoes, it makes me want to remind the public about the delicious taste of pussy. I just feel so blessed when I’m going down on a hot girl with soft skin and her pussy tastes sweet and savory…all at the same time. *blush*

Vagina is the most important meal that you will have tomorrow, as an American. Clearly, if you’re a gay man, this does not apply to you. But seriously, go out and make some lady’s day tomorrow. Grab her snatch and whisper that you can’t wait to give her a clitoral orgasm. Be a giver!

To get you ready for your Thanksgiving feast, I’ve orchestrated a buffet of free cunnilingus videos…just for you. Please enjoy every minute of it.

Free Pussy Eating Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex

Girls in braces really lend themselves well to BDSM play. Think about it. Their teeth are bound and tightened regularly for perfection. …creating a throbbing pain. During a blow job, there’s a risk of ripping skin. Sometimes braces can rip up the inside of your mouth. A site called Beauty and Braces has this edgy niche on lock.

They’ve got thousands of erotic videos featuring amateurs (with braces) fucking. Curious? Check out free Beauty and Braces galleries here, here, here, here, and here.

You can thank your favorite lesbian l8r. xoxo

If you want to look more deeply into those big beautiful, French-Japanese eyes, I’ve found some free porn videos for you to enjoy. Check out this, this, this, this, and this. You can stalk read more about this exotic beauty on Wikipedia.

About 5 years ago, I was way into this stripper @ The Pink Poodle in San Jose. I would go in alone after work at least once a week to see this dancer. She was a total MILF and very curvy. Actually, just top heavy. Her big natural breasts were fucking amazing. Aside from all the pole dancing and asshole tricks she could do (don’t ask), she had this one boob sucking trick that was a complete show stopper.

I’ll explain. She would start off by slowly massaging her breasts and licking her own nipples. Then she’d take one of her full boobs, suck in most of her own areola and let go of it with her hands. Her huge G cup breast would be held up by sheer suction power! You might be saying “wtf” right now, but I swear you would have shot a load just seeing it. No hands! Ah, those were the days.

She probably doesn’t strip anymore, but I never forgot her act. She is why I love strip clubs so much. These days, I’m more into the Hustler Club in San Francisco. The girls there can really fucking work a pole upside down. All their girls do pilates and have a strong dancing background. If you haven’t been and you have the chance to, go for it. They also do a breakfast & lapdance special on certain days. Check out their website for more info.

I’m dedicating this post to all my favorite strippers who got my rocks off after a hard day’s work. Thank you, ladies!

And guys, enjoy a ton of free stripper porn…

Stripper Pics: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Stripper Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Make sure to visit a strip club this week. My favorite strip club database is tuscl.com (which stands for The Ultimate Strip Club List). You can search awesome user reviews of strip clubs worldwide. It’s been around forever.

I hope this post has been helpful. Throw a $1 at a local stripper for me! xoxo, lesbodojo

Kelly Clarkson pre-sale tickets went up for grabs last week. My top gay and I will be attending the San Jose concert, for sure. If you’re in the Bay Area and are planning on attending this show, please leave me a comment. We’re hosting a gay tailgating party. I look forward to seeing some Pornzio peeps there.

If you really want to celebrate tonight, jerk off to the erotica found on 420girls and beaverbong. Those are the best premium sites for hot stoner action.

Also, check out these flickr photos of non nude amateur babes smoking. And for our gay readers, check out these flickr guys smoking.

Let’s all think back, shall we? Let’s think back to a time when we were 18. For me it’s not too hard, because it wasn’t that long ago, but for some of you, just pretend. When I was graduated high school I had a world of possibilities ahead of me. College was around the corner, where I would study law and theatre and make something of myself. I, of course, ended up here on Pornzio. Follow your dreams children! Kari Sweets is 18, and cameras are staring her in face. Oddly enough, she ended up here, too, and thank God for it. Not so much Pornzio, but porn, which is close enough. I like to beat to Kari, and writing about her is even better. It sort of justifies my travels from 18 to now, because when I was 18, I don’t remember chicks looking like that. Actually, I do, and I fucked them, but that doesn’t make for a very good story, now does it? Kari is so hot, Front Magazine named her #2 chick on the net. Right behind, Raven Riley, who I choose not to write about, because if I did I would start beating off at work, and people would get mad at me. (Those damn conservative bitches.) Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the sweetness of Kari Sweets. What? You knew I would use that! Kari Sweets is so fucking cute. She looks like a little lion who wants to have candy and sex. I fucking love candy and sex. As always, click for her myspace. Late.

Kathy Griffin was a riot, despite her father dying last week. She was a real highlight of the show and received numerous standing ovations. Even though she didn’t know who any of the stars were, she was able to play off of some of the dumb boys who were presenting. Idiotic stunt cocks who pronounced Pro-Am as “Pro Aim” got dissed by Kathy in a NY min. Hot.

Enjoy the rest of TJ’s GAYVN Awards Show & Afterparty photos on Flickr. Also, check out the major sponsor of the evening, NakedSword! I would talk more about the Afterparty, but you know what they say…”what happens at the Porn Palace, Stays at the Porn Palace.” Well, unless you have a membership to this site.