Vikki Mother Fucking Blows.

Vikki Blows is the wind beneath my wings. She’s the light at end of my tunnel. She’s the nipple at the end of my tit.

If the internet is beer, then Vikki Blows is a shot of whiskey. She just makes everything better.

Vikki takes her tittays out a lot, and this, my friends is a very good thing. They’re like the pocket watch that hypnotists use. They’ll put you in a trance where all you can is beat off. This is the best trance ever.

God, I love this girl!

Get mesmerized below!

There’s jizz in your hands right now… I KNOW IT!!

Who doesn’t want Yummy Used Panties from a chick whose face we haven’t seen?

I love that this is a thing. And, I applaud Christy for selling her vag soaked undies online. I’m now wondering if I could get away with selling my running sliders to chicks.

“Toph’s Running Sliders – When you need to smell the musk of a man’s sweaty balls.”

Ok, so maybe that wouldn’t go over nearly as well. You can buy Christy’s panties for around $50 each, and she’ll even IM dirty shit to you as you beat off for only $40/30 minutes.

You can even buy some panties with skid marks for an additional $25, but that’s for light poo stains. If you want heavily shit stained panties, that’s gonna cost you an extra $40.

And for you Aussies out there, you can buy her panties worn, masturbated in to orgasm, then put in a bag, and pissed over, completely soaking them in her urine, for AUD$80.

(You can also buy her piss or her boyfriend’s jizz. See site for details… member FDIC).

Find some crazy shit at ChristysPanties.SensualWriter.com

Let’s all think back, shall we? Let’s think back to a time when we were 18. For me it’s not too hard, because it wasn’t that long ago, but for some of you, just pretend. When I was graduated high school I had a world of possibilities ahead of me. College was around the corner, where I would study law and theatre and make something of myself. I, of course, ended up here on Pornzio. Follow your dreams children! Kari Sweets is 18, and cameras are staring her in face. Oddly enough, she ended up here, too, and thank God for it. Not so much Pornzio, but porn, which is close enough. I like to beat to Kari, and writing about her is even better. It sort of justifies my travels from 18 to now, because when I was 18, I don’t remember chicks looking like that. Actually, I do, and I fucked them, but that doesn’t make for a very good story, now does it? Kari is so hot, Front Magazine named her #2 chick on the net. Right behind, Raven Riley, who I choose not to write about, because if I did I would start beating off at work, and people would get mad at me. (Those damn conservative bitches.) Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the sweetness of Kari Sweets. What? You knew I would use that! Kari Sweets is so fucking cute. She looks like a little lion who wants to have candy and sex. I fucking love candy and sex. As always, click for her myspace. Late.

Where to start? Eve has been around for a little while, and yet I still can’t stop looking at her. She’s so hot it makes my balls hurt. Seriously, they hurt. I may need to go and get this looked at. It’s not normal, is it? Well, regardless, it’s worth it, because Eve is amazing. She’s a fucking hot Hungarian, who loves to be naked. Isn’t that what we all want: hot, naked Hungarians? Honestly, Eve Angel is arguably the first Hungarian I have ever seen, but if this is a sign of the women there, then I’m moving to Hungry. Think of the limitless amount of Hungry jokes I could use. Eve started fucking at about 17, and we in America had to wait one more year before we could watch it. My favorite thing about Eve is that while she enjoys modeling right now, she aspires to be an archaeologist (note, it’s spelled wrong in the bio:). Cute isn’t it? Dream on Eve, but for right now we’re going to go ahead and excavate your vag. For your viewing pleasure, here’s a mecca of Eve galleries. Just a warning, there may be pop-ups, and there may be spam. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go through them all. Suffice it say, after the second gallery I was finished. Also, for a special treat, and because she’s my favorite, here’s her first screen test. Her pleasure-love sounds may resemble a goat being slaughtered, but seriously, who doesn’t love that?

My friend and I were talking today about stocking stuffers, and she mentioned this product for gals that refuse to wear underwear.

They’re called Commandos Patches. Essentially they’re sticky little pads that you put on the inside of your jeans. Voila! No more pussy smell on the pants. Also, no more rubbing against the crotch seam. Sounds weird but if you’re shopping for whores this holiday season, it’s the perfect gift!

Nothing says holiday cheer like tah-tahs nicely cupped by Victoria’s Secret bras. Tonight I watched this mainstream porn phenomena that CBS somehow slides through once a year. This show essentially consists of boobs bouncing down the runway…over and over…until you’re hypnotized and smiling like a stoned retard. Niiice. It was so much better than last year’s runway show. The lingerie was actually really wearable. …which I was keen on. blah blah blah.

Anyway…on with the tah-tahs…

Justin Timberlake was the backdrop of the fashion show this year. I’m Bringing Sexy Back seemed to be the the running theme. They showed clips of the models singing along and doing booty dances. Anyone care to guess how many runway models he’s going to bang tonight? Damn.

Missed out last year? Check out Victoria’s Secret Runway Show from 2005.