Vikki Mother Fucking Blows.

Vikki Blows is the wind beneath my wings. She’s the light at end of my tunnel. She’s the nipple at the end of my tit.

If the internet is beer, then Vikki Blows is a shot of whiskey. She just makes everything better.

Vikki takes her tittays out a lot, and this, my friends is a very good thing. They’re like the pocket watch that hypnotists use. They’ll put you in a trance where all you can is beat off. This is the best trance ever.

God, I love this girl!

Get mesmerized below!

There’s jizz in your hands right now… I KNOW IT!!

As I mentioned, while in Phoenix, Talia Shepard floored me every time I saw her. Never a shy person, I couldn’t even bring myself to say hello, you are awesome.

So who is that amazing chick, that was also a Twisty’s Treat of the Month?

Well, she’s from Texas, lives in Arizona has some real/amazing tattys and she sure plays a mean dodgeball.

Enjoy this amazing chick, cause I know I do.

Check out some galleries:

Talia Pink Bra

Talia White Dress

Talia Fucking Hot Black Dress

Talia Bikini

And check out her new site TaliaShepard.com and her twitter @taliashepard

Pornzio.com is back!

I know what you’re saying, “Holy shit, Pornzio, what the hell are you doing back? I’ve all but forgotten about you.”

It’s purely selfish, I assure you. And it’s mainly to promote Pornzio.com/m, the first mobile only adult search engine. It’s actually pretty sweet, so check it out and beat to the results when you have a chance (like after you’ve pooped… wait… if a “blumpkin” is getting head while you’re shitting, what’s the term for jerkin’ while you’re pooping? Jumpkin?)

Of course, we won’t just talk about ourselves here, no no… Once I hit publish, we’ll start writing about all the things that make a porn blog great (aka naked people).

Happy to have you back.

PS… Eva’s vagina is pretty… I’d like to go camping there.

I’m over seeing nude pornstars. Their too fake and used up looking. Give me a real girl any day who’s proud of what they’ve got. I don’t care what your fucking bathroom looks like. Dance for me, girl. Smile at yourself in the mirror and take a nude photo cause you know I want to see it.

If you enjoy self shot amateur porn, check out these free pic galleries:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Crap. This type of monster porn gives me nightmares. Remember the post I made a while back about the dildo monster video? I think this might be worse.

This clip is part of Naughty Little Nymphos. I was searching with the keyword “Nymphos” on SkinVideo yesterday. My bad. I was feeling horny and this video just totally killed the mood. Monster Sex = Cold Shower x 1000

Most of the scenes from Naughty Little Nymphos feature men in costumes and/or masks fucking hot chicks. If you’re into that type of fantasy, check out this and this. Super weird shit.

A Spanish magazine published a whole set of the couple’s uncensored pics. Yes, there are more! You can view them all here. If these are really Vanessa Minnillo’s boobs, she might want to think about keeping her top AND make up on. A little waxy-wax couldn’t hurt, either. Just my 2 cents!

No, I’m not talking about buying a hooker (although, that’s always a good idea). Someone had the brainy dazzle to bottle a scent that smells like juicy puntang. What a delight!

You can buy it here.

My favorite line from their site is “VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for y our own smelling pleasure. Breathe in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the odour of a beautiful woman.” And while it’s true that after fucking a lesbo with a sweet pussy, I sometimes forget to wash my hands…I’m not sure if I need to go out and buy a product like this. Maybe I’m an old fashioned dirty girl. *shrugs*

You’ll enjoy watching naked models pose with their product here. They’ve even got videos. You can thank your favorite lesbian l8r! xoxo

That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex

About 5 years ago, I was way into this stripper @ The Pink Poodle in San Jose. I would go in alone after work at least once a week to see this dancer. She was a total MILF and very curvy. Actually, just top heavy. Her big natural breasts were fucking amazing. Aside from all the pole dancing and asshole tricks she could do (don’t ask), she had this one boob sucking trick that was a complete show stopper.

I’ll explain. She would start off by slowly massaging her breasts and licking her own nipples. Then she’d take one of her full boobs, suck in most of her own areola and let go of it with her hands. Her huge G cup breast would be held up by sheer suction power! You might be saying “wtf” right now, but I swear you would have shot a load just seeing it. No hands! Ah, those were the days.

She probably doesn’t strip anymore, but I never forgot her act. She is why I love strip clubs so much. These days, I’m more into the Hustler Club in San Francisco. The girls there can really fucking work a pole upside down. All their girls do pilates and have a strong dancing background. If you haven’t been and you have the chance to, go for it. They also do a breakfast & lapdance special on certain days. Check out their website for more info.

I’m dedicating this post to all my favorite strippers who got my rocks off after a hard day’s work. Thank you, ladies!

And guys, enjoy a ton of free stripper porn…

Stripper Pics: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Stripper Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Make sure to visit a strip club this week. My favorite strip club database is tuscl.com (which stands for The Ultimate Strip Club List). You can search awesome user reviews of strip clubs worldwide. It’s been around forever.

I hope this post has been helpful. Throw a $1 at a local stripper for me! xoxo, lesbodojo

Can’t get enough of these babes lezzing out? See more of Masuimi Max & Aria Giovanni getting it on here, here, and here. Enjoy!