Crap. This type of monster porn gives me nightmares. Remember the post I made a while back about the dildo monster video? I think this might be worse.

This clip is part of Naughty Little Nymphos. I was searching with the keyword “Nymphos” on SkinVideo yesterday. My bad. I was feeling horny and this video just totally killed the mood. Monster Sex = Cold Shower x 1000

Most of the scenes from Naughty Little Nymphos feature men in costumes and/or masks fucking hot chicks. If you’re into that type of fantasy, check out this and this. Super weird shit.

That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex

The industrial sex appeal of a “metal mouth” has not gone unappreciated by the fetish community.

Girls in braces really lend themselves well to BDSM play. Think about it. Their teeth are bound and tightened regularly for perfection. …creating a throbbing pain. During a blow job, there’s a risk of ripping skin. Sometimes braces can rip up the inside of your mouth. A site called Beauty and Braces has this edgy niche on lock.

They’ve got thousands of erotic videos featuring amateurs (with braces) fucking. Curious? Check out free Beauty and Braces galleries here, here, here, here, and here.

You can thank your favorite lesbian l8r. xoxo

In our never ending search for great porn, we sometime forget about using the right tools for the job. Let me introduce Heatseek, an IE based browser that is customized for surfing adult content.

Some of the cooler features include download images and movies into Collections, where you can turn them into a slide show. Queue your downloads while continuing to browse is my favorite, no more organizing folders on your computer. There’s a password to open the device, and pop blocking is pretty solid. And of course, a download queue so you can go to a TGP and splice together 30 second movies into a something jerkable.

Try it out on your favorite porn site and let us know what you think.

I have been wasting so many hours on SwallowSquirt.com. I admit it. I have a grin from ear to ear. The premise? During a sexy 3-way, one of the chicks will ejaculate and the other girl will slurp it up and swallow. *blush* tee hee. Loves it.

That’s right. They serve up fresh 100% female ejaculation every fucking time. It’s refreshing to watch girls truly getting off for a change. There’s no faking it here, folks. Some of these girls swallow a quart of female juice at a time. There’s no way they could do that with a smile, if they weren’t super into it.

Don’t believe me? Check out some of these high resolution squirting vids for free…

New Squirt-Swallow Videos: 1, 2, 3, & 4

I know. I know. I am your favorite lesbian wingman. xoxo, Enjoy!

Well, not really. It’s just that nothing puts a smile on my face more than a talented stripper. Ever crushed out on one? I certainly have.

About 5 years ago, I was way into this stripper @ The Pink Poodle in San Jose. I would go in alone after work at least once a week to see this dancer. She was a total MILF and very curvy. Actually, just top heavy. Her big natural breasts were fucking amazing. Aside from all the pole dancing and asshole tricks she could do (don’t ask), she had this one boob sucking trick that was a complete show stopper.

I’ll explain. She would start off by slowly massaging her breasts and licking her own nipples. Then she’d take one of her full boobs, suck in most of her own areola and let go of it with her hands. Her huge G cup breast would be held up by sheer suction power! You might be saying “wtf” right now, but I swear you would have shot a load just seeing it. No hands! Ah, those were the days.

She probably doesn’t strip anymore, but I never forgot her act. She is why I love strip clubs so much. These days, I’m more into the Hustler Club in San Francisco. The girls there can really fucking work a pole upside down. All their girls do pilates and have a strong dancing background. If you haven’t been and you have the chance to, go for it. They also do a breakfast & lapdance special on certain days. Check out their website for more info.

I’m dedicating this post to all my favorite strippers who got my rocks off after a hard day’s work. Thank you, ladies!

And guys, enjoy a ton of free stripper porn…

Stripper Pics: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Stripper Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Make sure to visit a strip club this week. My favorite strip club database is tuscl.com (which stands for The Ultimate Strip Club List). You can search awesome user reviews of strip clubs worldwide. It’s been around forever.

I hope this post has been helpful. Throw a $1 at a local stripper for me! xoxo, lesbodojo

What better way of celebrating 4/20 then by giving thanks to women who toke naked. I’d also like to give a special shot out to the creative folks at beaverbong who smoke a fresh bowl of juicy pussy daily. Clearly, they’re smoking for medicinal use, so it’s A-OK.

If you really want to celebrate tonight, jerk off to the erotica found on 420girls and beaverbong. Those are the best premium sites for hot stoner action.

Also, check out these flickr photos of non nude amateur babes smoking. And for our gay readers, check out these flickr guys smoking.

Aight…I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted a free porn friday, but it’s time to bring it back. I mean what else should you be doing on friday? Anyway…I’m pimpin my hawk these days so I figured I’d do a free porn friday punk edition. Hope you’re into it. If not…hit me up in comments and I’ll hook you up with a customized free porn friday. late

Every week I try to bring you guys the hottest girl on the internet, and I’m pretty proud of how well I do it. I mean, I beat to my own post. Actually, when writing, if I don’t beat to it, then I’m not going to post it. I wouldn’t want to do you that disservice. We’re here to keep you whacking. Well, on most days, that is. All is relatively slow in the hot girl world today. I haven’t seen many new chicks that I should alert you about, so instead, I’m bringing you some ugly ones. Why? Think of it as training. We can’t all go home with the hottest chicks, so you have to prepare for the ugly ones. I don’t want you get the wrong idea here. I’m not giving you atrociously horrendous chicks. Wouldn’t that be fucked up? (and kind of funny for me) No, I’m bringing you chicks that are like, “Damn, you’re ugly. You shouldn’t be ugly, though. Why are you ugly? It doesn’t make sense. Here, let me beat to you and see if you’re ugly. Yep, you’re ugly, but I’d fuck you.” I’ve actually had this happen many times in life. With that said, enjoy the ugos.

When you’ve had enough of the ugos, go here, here and here. Remember: God don’t like ugly.

Let’s all think back, shall we? Let’s think back to a time when we were 18. For me it’s not too hard, because it wasn’t that long ago, but for some of you, just pretend. When I was graduated high school I had a world of possibilities ahead of me. College was around the corner, where I would study law and theatre and make something of myself. I, of course, ended up here on Pornzio. Follow your dreams children! Kari Sweets is 18, and cameras are staring her in face. Oddly enough, she ended up here, too, and thank God for it. Not so much Pornzio, but porn, which is close enough. I like to beat to Kari, and writing about her is even better. It sort of justifies my travels from 18 to now, because when I was 18, I don’t remember chicks looking like that. Actually, I do, and I fucked them, but that doesn’t make for a very good story, now does it? Kari is so hot, Front Magazine named her #2 chick on the net. Right behind, Raven Riley, who I choose not to write about, because if I did I would start beating off at work, and people would get mad at me. (Those damn conservative bitches.) Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the sweetness of Kari Sweets. What? You knew I would use that! Kari Sweets is so fucking cute. She looks like a little lion who wants to have candy and sex. I fucking love candy and sex. As always, click for her myspace. Late.