Where to start? Eve has been around for a little while, and yet I still can’t stop looking at her. She’s so hot it makes my balls hurt. Seriously, they hurt. I may need to go and get this looked at. It’s not normal, is it? Well, regardless, it’s worth it, because Eve is amazing. She’s a fucking hot Hungarian, who loves to be naked. Isn’t that what we all want: hot, naked Hungarians? Honestly, Eve Angel is arguably the first Hungarian I have ever seen, but if this is a sign of the women there, then I’m moving to Hungry. Think of the limitless amount of Hungry jokes I could use. Eve started fucking at about 17, and we in America had to wait one more year before we could watch it. My favorite thing about Eve is that while she enjoys modeling right now, she aspires to be an archaeologist (note, it’s spelled wrong in the bio:). Cute isn’t it? Dream on Eve, but for right now we’re going to go ahead and excavate your vag. For your viewing pleasure, here’s a mecca of Eve galleries. Just a warning, there may be pop-ups, and there may be spam. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go through them all. Suffice it say, after the second gallery I was finished. Also, for a special treat, and because she’s my favorite, here’s her first screen test. Her pleasure-love sounds may resemble a goat being slaughtered, but seriously, who doesn’t love that?

Natalie Sparks is hot. Let’s say Jennifer Garner and I had a baby, it would look like Natalie Sparks. I’m not even sure what that means, but it’s true. I first came across Natalie I was, well, masturbating, and her big brown eyes were all I needed. She has big, precious boobies and that’s important. I like outfits on my ladies, and Natalie has many. She’s a 20-year-old hottie, that is fairly new to the naked game. She looks to have a D cup, but I would need to touch them to be sure. I would probably use Natalie’s boobies as punching bags, and she’d like it. Chicks dig that shit, right? She has some webcam shows where she does things like fingerbang herself. I love some watching chicks fingerbang themselves. I like it almost as much as I like saying fingerbang. But wait… there’s more. Natalie has a special little sister, Nicole Sparks. OK, so I am not positive they are sisters, but they are both hot and they have the same last name. So, check them out, and just beat it. Oh… here’s their myspace, so you know.. Natalie and Nicole. Thank God for myspace!

For the past 6 years I have debated on whether or not I should try out for American Idol. I’m not the best of singers, but I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t pretty fucking sexy. Isn’t that what really counts anyways? I mean, most of those kids are no talent ass-clowns, but they get to Hollywood based on their looks. Each year some one asks, “Toph, are you going to try out for American Idol?” And each year I respond, “No, I’m going to be fucking.” Yes, fucking is more important to me than winning American Idol. Well, that was until a few years ago when it was announced that Paula Abdul had sex with one of the contestants. Why wasn’t I made aware that I could Rush Rush into Paula’s vag? Or, that we could take two steps forward and one step back in the bedroom? Those are the only Paula Abdul songs I know, sorry. We all know that she loves her some weed, at least it appears so. After hearing that story, I figured that I, like Paula, could blend both my love for American Idol and my love for pokin’. Then from out of the skies, I found Desperate Popstars. I love desperate chicks. These chicks may be the worst singers ever, and isn’t that the best part of American Idol anyways? They are also really fuckin’ hot, and have lots of sex. There may not be a better combination, but yes, there’s more. The two dudes sound like Borat mixed with a donkey. Think about it. So, let’s recap, shall we? Bad singers, Borat, hot chicks, fucking, and Paula Abdul naked… oh wait… never mind.

I’ve seen Leah Dizon before.  I just had no idea who she was.  I think I even posted a photo of her when I wrote about Import Models.  Regardless, Toph sent her to me today, and I’m now got the girl I’m jacking off to tonight.  I’ve been told that there is an actual fucking and sucking porn video of her floating around.  And I’m on a mission to find it.  And once I do you know I’ll put it up here for your viewing pleasure. For now you’re going to have to be okay with the 14 galleries of Leah Dizon I found.  Well here’s one more for you.

I’ve always had a fantasy of fucking a body builder chick. I mean there’s something about a woman that has muscles bigger than yours and her ripped up muscular vagina can squeeze your dick so hard the head wants to just squirt all over the place. I know I’m a freak…but still…I’ve always found something really hot about it. Sadly though I’ve never been able to find any actual porn with body builder chicks. Well I tell you now this…BODY BUILDER PORN IS ALIVE.

I was digging through Skin Video’s massive amounts of porn and like a dream it just appeared. Big buff women making out and fucking each other. Then to add to that solo body builders in the nude masturbating. You’ll notice half way through that one that Chyna isn’t the only one with a penis clit. And if you need more from the queen of body building whores…Chyna. Oh Oh Oh check this body builder chick out. She fucks a fucking mop while she’s cleaning her bathroom.

If bodybuilders aren’t your thing then it’s okay…I got something for you too. How about just getting some action at the gym. No manly women…just good ole fuckin and suckin in a place that bodybuilders attend? Work for you? I thought it would. enjoy Oh wait! You have to watch hot asian volleyball players abusing naked asian guys. Good stuff.

I keep coming across bowling porn today. It’s just too dirty for my taste. …shoe swapping, sticking fingers in dirty holes, greasy floors. Don’t get me wrong. We can all agree that banging dirty whores is a good thing. …but dirty whores in a dirty location? with used shoes? Ah, fuck it. Watch this video of a babe stuffing a bowling pin in her crotch.

Can you dig it? If so, you’ll appreciate these bowling porn videos.

I had an interesting IM chat today with none other than Tatum Reed. We talked about interracial sex. This exclusive video of Tatum’s interracial gangbang seemed really out of character.

She said, “perhaps it’s the way my waspy mother would disapprove, or the way their huge cocks stuff me full. After speaking with my therapist about the titilation of it, I decided to fuck four black cocks, suck on them, gag on them, and take them in my ass.” …and here I thought Episcopalian girls were conservative!

Even conservative episcopalian girls like Tatum Reed love licking assholes. Click the pic to download this special lesbo rim job video. Sound on, folks!

View all Tatum’s video updates here. Also check back with us for exclusive Tatum Reed videos.

I fucking love Conan.  Especially anytime I can mix Conan and Porn.  Well not…like him…in porn cause he’s not the sexiest guy in the world.  But who knows some of you peeps like some good fire crotch action.  So anyway on Conan the other night he had a skit with a manatee on a web cam touching itself.  And said it was for HornyManatee.com.  And now they’ve gone ahead and made an actual porn site based on this manatee.  Check the video explaining it all. You have to check it out.

Horny Manatee

No really…these two lovebirds thought to themselves.  You know what will be sexy?  If we get naked, climb up to the top of that tree in the backyard, and just start going at it.  This is up there with the crazy japanese porn ideas.  Still worth a watch.

Couple fucking in a tree