No, I’m not talking about buying a hooker (although, that’s always a good idea). Someone had the brainy dazzle to bottle a scent that smells like juicy puntang. What a delight!

You can buy it here.

My favorite line from their site is “VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for y our own smelling pleasure. Breathe in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the odour of a beautiful woman.” And while it’s true that after fucking a lesbo with a sweet pussy, I sometimes forget to wash my hands…I’m not sure if I need to go out and buy a product like this. Maybe I’m an old fashioned dirty girl. *shrugs*

You’ll enjoy watching naked models pose with their product here. They’ve even got videos. You can thank your favorite lesbian l8r! xoxo

Well, not really. It’s just that nothing puts a smile on my face more than a talented stripper. Ever crushed out on one? I certainly have.

About 5 years ago, I was way into this stripper @ The Pink Poodle in San Jose. I would go in alone after work at least once a week to see this dancer. She was a total MILF and very curvy. Actually, just top heavy. Her big natural breasts were fucking amazing. Aside from all the pole dancing and asshole tricks she could do (don’t ask), she had this one boob sucking trick that was a complete show stopper.

I’ll explain. She would start off by slowly massaging her breasts and licking her own nipples. Then she’d take one of her full boobs, suck in most of her own areola and let go of it with her hands. Her huge G cup breast would be held up by sheer suction power! You might be saying “wtf” right now, but I swear you would have shot a load just seeing it. No hands! Ah, those were the days.

She probably doesn’t strip anymore, but I never forgot her act. She is why I love strip clubs so much. These days, I’m more into the Hustler Club in San Francisco. The girls there can really fucking work a pole upside down. All their girls do pilates and have a strong dancing background. If you haven’t been and you have the chance to, go for it. They also do a breakfast & lapdance special on certain days. Check out their website for more info.

I’m dedicating this post to all my favorite strippers who got my rocks off after a hard day’s work. Thank you, ladies!

And guys, enjoy a ton of free stripper porn…

Stripper Pics: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Stripper Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, & 6.

Make sure to visit a strip club this week. My favorite strip club database is tuscl.com (which stands for The Ultimate Strip Club List). You can search awesome user reviews of strip clubs worldwide. It’s been around forever.

I hope this post has been helpful. Throw a $1 at a local stripper for me! xoxo, lesbodojo

Okay I’ve seen the guys that do the penis acts and tie their dicks up and make them do the most painful looking things just to get a laugh.  But I’ve never seen a woman do anything like that before.  Maybe she saw that gatorade commercial with mia hamm and michael jordan.  “Anything you can do I can do better” Well I will say it’s more fun watching a vagina get mangled than a penis.  Maybe that’s just cause I have a penis and don’t like pain.

Anyway enjoy the tied up clit video 

Where to start? Eve has been around for a little while, and yet I still can’t stop looking at her. She’s so hot it makes my balls hurt. Seriously, they hurt. I may need to go and get this looked at. It’s not normal, is it? Well, regardless, it’s worth it, because Eve is amazing. She’s a fucking hot Hungarian, who loves to be naked. Isn’t that what we all want: hot, naked Hungarians? Honestly, Eve Angel is arguably the first Hungarian I have ever seen, but if this is a sign of the women there, then I’m moving to Hungry. Think of the limitless amount of Hungry jokes I could use. Eve started fucking at about 17, and we in America had to wait one more year before we could watch it. My favorite thing about Eve is that while she enjoys modeling right now, she aspires to be an archaeologist (note, it’s spelled wrong in the bio:). Cute isn’t it? Dream on Eve, but for right now we’re going to go ahead and excavate your vag. For your viewing pleasure, here’s a mecca of Eve galleries. Just a warning, there may be pop-ups, and there may be spam. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go through them all. Suffice it say, after the second gallery I was finished. Also, for a special treat, and because she’s my favorite, here’s her first screen test. Her pleasure-love sounds may resemble a goat being slaughtered, but seriously, who doesn’t love that?

I have got to find the planet that Katie lives on. Is there a ship that takes me there? Can I drive there? Do I need a passport to get there? What ever it takes, I will be willing to do it, because I have got to fuck Planet Katie. It doesn’t matter what she does or wears, because she is so damn hot. I like to think of her as every man’s dream or at the very least, my dream. She can be blond, brunette, an office slut, a schoolgirl whore, a sexy nurse, just wearing a skirt and thong, or jeans and a tee shirt, and it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. She’s like a sexy chameleon. I’m usually not one to want to fuck reptiles, with the exception of when I saw Mario Bros. the movie, but I don’t mind what Katie is doing… ever. Wait… yeah, remember Mario Bros. the movie? Well there was one chick in Dinohattan that was so damn hot. I wanted to fuck her until she shed her lizard skin. Yes, I was in the 6th grade when it came out, but I was an early bloomer. I thought I should clear that up for you. Anyhow, I present you with the hotness known as Planet Katie. She’s special, and you should beat to her. I’m going to do that……… now.

Pussy magnet? Not unless you’re trying to attract blind hookers. Who fucking cares?! This lesbo says 2 thumbs up to pussy art cars. There’s something so wrong about them, that it circles back to being ok. …sort of like the Pussy Wagon from the film Kill Bill.

Check out this Burning Man vagina car complete with tampon string…

If these pics are making you horny, watch these chicks fuck in cars. And if you’re looking for guys getting fucked in cars, watch these videos.

It’s not everyday that porn can actually make you hungry. Sure it’ll make you horny, you’ll have crazy wild woman punch me in the face sex, and then you’ll be hungry and have to munch on something. But how often do you look at a snatch and think “mmmm a big mac would really hit the spot right now.” I really had to give this pussy burger a double take. It just screamed McDonalds to me. So I dubb thee McDonald’s new McSnatch.

Lets not let the fun stop there. Now we’d like to introduce Wienerschnitzel’s famous All Beef Plumper Dog. As you can see above Amanda likes her dog pretty simple. A little mustard and ketchup and she’s ready to gobble this dog deep down her throat.

Now you know you can’t eat all this food without something to flush it down with. How about a 7eleven Super Big Gulp of only the finest California Cum. It’s been freshly brewed and has received numerous taste tasting awards. If you’re still hungry for the flesh, be sure to read up on The Taste of Porn. And if you’re more the healthy type, why not try a little sushi? Enjoy the meal and if you’ve got more food for me link to it in the comments.

Leave it to the lesbians to come up with creative penetration techniques. I recently came across some lesbian toe fucking movies and mutual toe masturbation mpegs that were super hot. I don’t really have a foot fetish, but something about dipping a toe into a cute pussy is exciting.

Now I know what to do when my toes get cold. Pussy toe cozy! Genius.

Far be it for me to disagree with SugarBank, but here I go… One of my ex girlfriends was a squirter, and fucking her was so much fun. Sure, it’s messy if you don’t lay down towels first. Sure, it can take you off guard if you’re mowing the muff. Bringing your girlfriend to an orgasm so raw that she would loose control and release clear cum all over the bed is quite satisfying.

Let’s forget the discussion on if it’s really urine or cum for a second. Don’t you want to bring your lover to a face clenching, uncontrollable orgasm? Don’t you want to be the favorite lover of each girl you sleep with? Alright-y, then. In this case, it doesn’t matter what female ejaculation is. I’d venture to say that there has not been enough research on this subject to qualify a stance one way or the other.

Bottom Line: hot women getting off is a good thing! If you haven’t fucked a juicy squirter yet, put an ad on Craigslist or create a profile on AFF. I dare you. You can thank me later. xoxo

I came in this morning and was going through the normal blogs I read, when this photo got me thinking. Is that her balls? Is she a tranny? Or is she just in the pacman club? For some reason when I see a big ole fat clam pussy I always think of pacman coming after me trying to eat my balls. I know I’m weird but that’s what the pacman club is. I’ve never been a fan of big pussy lips hanging down. I mean when she’s bent over and I’m coming up from behind to pound her doggy, and for a split second I think to myself “are those your balls?” that’s a really bad thing. I mean even to think of balls for a split second while you’re trying to have relations with your lady is not a good thing. It’s like shrink city if you know what I mean. But again, with the photo above it got me really wondering how big does a clam have to be for it to roll down like that when sit on the couch. So I did some research and this is what I found.

After seeing this thing I realized that some chicks pussies are bigger than my nuts.

This one for some reason looks like SamuelL Jackson’s lips. I just imagine it saying “Tell that bitch to be cool!!!” And Sam takes you straight to shrink city.

Luckily this chicks got little herpes dots next to her pacman. They draw my attention away from the massive clam. Keep up the good herpes.

Then you’ve got the worst monster of all. The Pacman Cherry Monster. This one just screams, cut me off please. I mean it’s like an uncircumsized clit. Jesus who wants to deep throat a clit?

What we’ve learned from this club is that balls and clams are too similar. If you take a chick home and find her balls. That’s bad. If you take a chick home and find pacman? That’s bad too. The moral of the story is lipo your clam. please.