CrackaAss made me hungry. I love food porn that pairs candy with sweet pussy. And while that sounds redundant to some of you, the temptress aesthetic IS there. The obvious reference to blowjobs is what does it for most guys…

Of course, I think of sweet pussy juice.

I’m sure you’ve all been there when you’re going down on a girl and her vag juice tastes so sweet you can’t believe it. Like Ms. B says on the Yung Joc track “you chewin on my pussy like a piece of Bubble Yum.” er. yeah. Kinda like that.

There aren’t a huge number of quality gay fetish sites that feature amateur spanking videos. BoyFetish has won Cybersocket’s Best Leather and Fetish Site Award four years in a row. It’s unique, authentic, and hard to watch if you’re not into the bdsm lifestyle.

I remember the first time I got spanked. 5 dominatrix women from San Francisco beat my ass until it was black and blue. I had a corporate job at the time, and I couldn’t even sit down. It was awesome.

If you like watching men get their ass spanked, jerk off to this, this, and this. If you’d rather watch a girls’ ass turn black and blue, watch this.

I’m on a twink kick. What can I say?

On my recent trip to Amsterdam, I ran into a producer named Ben Huller. He created the super cute porn site called PopBoys. This site offers exclusive gay teen video that’s a cross between japanimation, boy bands, and candy.

Yay for pop star boy candy. These young starlets will do anything to become a star. I only wish that they’d let the boys post hopeful mp3s (demos of them singing) on their profile page. That would be hilarious.

The models have incredible skills. Extreme blowjobs built for full shaft lovin’ is rad. These ladies are stuffed to pack in every inch ya got (plus some).

What kind of world are we living in where they can’t list this special training on their resume.

Just like chocolate to peanut butter or nuns to rulers, luxury cars and hot lesbians go extremely well together. I don’t care if you’re not a big car person per se. This is tasty eye candy, and that can’t be denied.

Thanks to ChromeOnline for this exquisite Ferarri shot with the lovely Sandee Westgate and Crissy Moran. They can take the wheel any day of the week.

What can I say? I’m a hag. All my gay boys are into straight skater videos. The lines of what is homo erotic and/or straight are so blurred sometimes. Aloof young guys, baggy pants, old school sneakers, and male bonding (aka anal). …boys will be boys!

SkaterHunt.com tricks young straight skater guys to go gay for pay. If you’re into tight virgin ass, you’ll love this niche. …and if you know of larger sites that focus on skateboarding whores, please post about it here.

I just wanted to jump on CrackaAss’s theme of big boobs and MILFs for a second. Danni Ashe is the right age for MILF lovers like me. Her boobs are flawless and she’s more comfortable with her body than ever. This photograph of Danni for MishaOnline gets me so wet.

I had a femdom fantasy of being tied up right outside her shower wall. Miss Ashe would have me bound close enough to lick the other side of the shower glass. ..but nothing more. I could only dream of being able to lick her nipple. Clearly, I live for the lesbian MILF mind fuck. I have issues.

Every couple has a list of celebrities that they could bang if they happened to get the opportunity. It’s a small world, and I do run into a lot of celebrities during my travels. This is my list of hip celeb women that I’d cheat on a partner for (in no particular order).

1. Heather Graham
2. Charlize Theron
3. Penelope Cruz
4. Kate Winslet
5. Ashley Judd
6. Chloe Sevigny
7. Annette Bening
8. Nina Hartley
9. Gillian Anderson
10. Giselle Bundchen
11. Heidi Klum
12. Hillary Swank
13. Jennifer Tilly
14. Jennifer Beals
15. Joan Jett
16. Mira Sorvino
17. Parker Posey
18. Patricia Arquette
19. Scarlett Johansson
20. Rebecca Romijn
21. Rose McGowan
22. Selma Blair
23. Sandra Bernhard
24. Helena Christensen
25. Madonna
26. Stevie Nicks
27. Veruca Salt (yes, the whole band. at once)
28. Pat Benetar
29. Chrissie Hynde
30. Debbie Harry
31. Louise Lombard
32. Rachel Shelley
33. Jemima Rooper
34. Pink
35. Elizabeth Davis
36. Tina Fay
37. Sienna Miller
38. Aishwarya Rai
39. Naomi Watts
40. Diane Lane
41. Molly Sims
42. Veronica Varekova
43. Petra Nemcova
44. Catherine Zeta-Jones
45. Jenny McCarthy
46. Kathy Griffin
47. Anne Hathaway
48. Michelle Willams
49. Sandra Oh
50. Amy Sedaris
51. Vivian Westwood
52. Tara Subkoff
53. Drew Barrymore
54. Ana Matronic
55. Gretchen Mol
56. Susie Bright
57. Annie Sprinkle
58. Belladonna
59. Dita Von Teese
60. Uma Thurman
61. Katherine Heigl
62. Catherine Keener
63. Joan Cusak
64. Maggie Gyllenhaal
65. Susan Sarandon
66. Shannen Doherty (but only if she fucked me as her 9021 Character)
67. Portia de Rossi
68. Felicity Huffman
69. Frances McDormand
70. Diane Von Furstenburg
71. Molly Ringwald
72. Bjork
73. Julianne Moore
74. Mary Louise Parker
75. Elizabeth Perkins
76. Tilda Swinton
77. Jaclyn Smith
78. Drea De Matteo
79. Blythe Danner
80. Marisa Tomei
81. Ziyi Zang
82. Michelle Yeoh
83. Linda Fiorentino
84. Meryl Streep
85. Queen Latifah
86. Kathleen Hanna
87. Miss Kitten
88. Missy Elliott
89. Trina
90. Charli Baltimore
91. L7 (again, the whole band at once)
92. Belinda Carlisle
93. Nina Hagen
94. Miuccia Prada
95. Anna Sui
96. Debi Mazar
97. Tracey Ullman
98. Kim Cattrall
99. Ann Magnuson
100. Karen Finley

If you have a list, please post it here. Inquiring minds…

Clearly, Raven Riley gives one hell of a handjob herself. That’s a fucking fact. Yet watching Raven jerk off her man with a fleshlight just takes the hotness to a whole other level. Agree? Check out this POV.
Make it nice, baby. Make it nice.

That song comes into my head every time I chat with Tim (right) & Roma (left). Love me through it, okay?

This clever gay duo will keep you laughing between lube runs. Their commentary is fresh and they have all the hottest gay pornstars over to play. Episodes from the Tim & Roma talk show can be found on Tim & Roma’s blog and NakedSword. Be sure to swallow first, though. I don’t want you to spit out your ____.