That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex

I’ve dated those prude girls before. You know the ones that you have to beg to go down on you, would never let you even touch the outside of their butthole, and that gag even at the thought of tasting your cum. Yeah well for some reason now that I’m older I forgot those kinda girls existed. Especially in this “the more whore I am the more people will like me” world we live in. So when I saw this video it brought back a lot of memories. Memories of chick’s I hated and wanted to skull fuck….but still. Memories.

She hates cum Video

Where to start? Eve has been around for a little while, and yet I still can’t stop looking at her. She’s so hot it makes my balls hurt. Seriously, they hurt. I may need to go and get this looked at. It’s not normal, is it? Well, regardless, it’s worth it, because Eve is amazing. She’s a fucking hot Hungarian, who loves to be naked. Isn’t that what we all want: hot, naked Hungarians? Honestly, Eve Angel is arguably the first Hungarian I have ever seen, but if this is a sign of the women there, then I’m moving to Hungry. Think of the limitless amount of Hungry jokes I could use. Eve started fucking at about 17, and we in America had to wait one more year before we could watch it. My favorite thing about Eve is that while she enjoys modeling right now, she aspires to be an archaeologist (note, it’s spelled wrong in the bio:). Cute isn’t it? Dream on Eve, but for right now we’re going to go ahead and excavate your vag. For your viewing pleasure, here’s a mecca of Eve galleries. Just a warning, there may be pop-ups, and there may be spam. I’m sorry, but I didn’t go through them all. Suffice it say, after the second gallery I was finished. Also, for a special treat, and because she’s my favorite, here’s her first screen test. Her pleasure-love sounds may resemble a goat being slaughtered, but seriously, who doesn’t love that?

Natalie Sparks is hot. Let’s say Jennifer Garner and I had a baby, it would look like Natalie Sparks. I’m not even sure what that means, but it’s true. I first came across Natalie I was, well, masturbating, and her big brown eyes were all I needed. She has big, precious boobies and that’s important. I like outfits on my ladies, and Natalie has many. She’s a 20-year-old hottie, that is fairly new to the naked game. She looks to have a D cup, but I would need to touch them to be sure. I would probably use Natalie’s boobies as punching bags, and she’d like it. Chicks dig that shit, right? She has some webcam shows where she does things like fingerbang herself. I love some watching chicks fingerbang themselves. I like it almost as much as I like saying fingerbang. But wait… there’s more. Natalie has a special little sister, Nicole Sparks. OK, so I am not positive they are sisters, but they are both hot and they have the same last name. So, check them out, and just beat it. Oh… here’s their myspace, so you know.. Natalie and Nicole. Thank God for myspace!

I have got to find the planet that Katie lives on. Is there a ship that takes me there? Can I drive there? Do I need a passport to get there? What ever it takes, I will be willing to do it, because I have got to fuck Planet Katie. It doesn’t matter what she does or wears, because she is so damn hot. I like to think of her as every man’s dream or at the very least, my dream. She can be blond, brunette, an office slut, a schoolgirl whore, a sexy nurse, just wearing a skirt and thong, or jeans and a tee shirt, and it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. She’s like a sexy chameleon. I’m usually not one to want to fuck reptiles, with the exception of when I saw Mario Bros. the movie, but I don’t mind what Katie is doing… ever. Wait… yeah, remember Mario Bros. the movie? Well there was one chick in Dinohattan that was so damn hot. I wanted to fuck her until she shed her lizard skin. Yes, I was in the 6th grade when it came out, but I was an early bloomer. I thought I should clear that up for you. Anyhow, I present you with the hotness known as Planet Katie. She’s special, and you should beat to her. I’m going to do that……… now.

I have to say most of the time, when a pornsite doesn’t have a girl sucking a cock. I’m not a fan. I refuse to be. I need some hardcore action. That is unless I see a girl that is just drop dead gorgeous. Today I found Jenny Reid. Jenny is pretty much what I look for in a little teen slut. She’s got a great body and those small little titties. Pretty much her nipples make up her entire boob. But that’s okay, cause when it comes to hot young sluts. That’s what it’s all about. Well that and a bald ass pussy. And she’s got that too. Here’s what she says:

Hey guys, my name is Jenny and I just turned 18 I have always dreamed about being a model, to be well known in the modeling industry. Unfortunately I’m too short! I found out that in order to be an internet model, I don’t have to be tall and being online is a very interesting and entertaining business, so this is why I got this site up, I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Check out Jenny Reid. I’ve gone ahead and put together some galleries for you.

Jenny Reid in her black see through panties
I love Boy Shorts especially Jenny Reid’s
Jenny Reid’s tight little ass
Lady in Red

If you need more Uncle Sergei has a few more