Okay, so it’s not everyday that I find something that just makes me think “God…I wish I was that Dinosaur” I mean how many times in a man’s life do you get to say something like that. Well my friends…this is your first and probably last time to ever get to say that. I found this video of a dinosaur like barney having a threesome with 2 white chicks. It’s pretty amazing. It’s like sesame street meets cinemax. And if that wasn’t enough I found this other video that has a dinosaur with a big green cock that he’s raming into another white chick. What is it with white chicks and dinosaurs?

Dinosaur does 2 white chicks

Dinosaur rams cock in white chick

I love strange and artistic porn the best. When I came across this weird dildo monster set, I had to share with the class. You’d be surprised to know that this didn’t come out of Japan.

If Doctor Who had made porn, this would be it. “Exterminate Virginity! Exterminate Virginity!!”

Honestly, I’m not sure whether to be scared…watch more monster dildo movies in horror…or search toy stores for a “dildo monster” of my very own.

We’ve all said it. “Yeah I’d brown bag that slut”. Meaning, I’d fuck her, but she’s so ugly I need to cover up her face. Well apparently the brown bag approach really does work. I mean you have to watch out for the paper cuts…but fuck it. If she’s that ugly…and you’re that horny. It’s win win.

Why doesn’t this shit ever happen to me? I wait for the bus everyday, and sometimes there are hotties, but they never ask if I want to touch their boob, or just grab my cock. Maybe I’m just in the wrong city.

If after watching that you need to see some real blowjob videos check out Bus Stop Whores

I have found the love of my life. Her name is Bailey, and she sits in her room and gets naked. You can find her on Bailey’sRoom.com. Why do I love her so much? She doesn’t take herself too seriously. Is she getting naked for money? Yes, but she sticks her tongue out, crosses her eyes, and has such a sweet ass that it’s OK with me. I also love the little moles on her left tit. I’m not gonna lie, I’d nibble on them. It’s so fucking cute. She’s half Asian and half, um, hot? Poor Bailey was home schooled and was always the “new girl”. It’s kind of strange how she can be both home schooled and the new girl, but I’m not asking questions as long as she stays in her room and gets naked. She started her site to make money for college, because college is expensive. I am going to go out of my way to make sure she gets the best education a girl can get. Just not good enough to make her keep her clothes on. As always, here is her myspace, though it doesn’t appear to be real, and will probably be gone in a week.

It’s been such a good year for nakedness, rehab, and booze. Can you believe it’s just the beginning of March? I guess March Madness isn’t just for basketball anymore. There are two relatively large non-pornstar porn hub-bubs going on right now, and both you should keep your eyes out for. There is also one non-pornstar porn out, that you need to beat to right now! See, Pornzio looks out for you. Not only do we keep you beating, we keep you informed. Informed, I SAY!

It’s with sad news that I report Antonella Barba was voted off American Idol last night. I tuned in, so you wouldn’t have to, and to that I say, “You’re welcome.” Once again, America got it wrong. Seriously, the reason that hot chicks get voted off and idiots win is because the perverts (you and I) aren’t voting, and the soccer moms are. If you want a reason for Taylor Hicks winning last year, and Katherine McPhee losing, then look at yourself. Sure, I won’t get to pull it during her 2 minutes of horrendous singing, but I might now get to pull it to her videos. Yes, both Girls Gone Wild and Sugarland DVD have extended Antonella spokesperson contracts, both around the $500,000 range. Hopefully, Antonella will realize that the country has already seen her naked, and she’ll need the money. Here’s hoping she’ll step it up. Click her pooping to read more.

In other news, it appears as if the Kim Kardashian sex tape will be released by Vivid Entertainment, and welcomed by me. Kim’s lawyers tried to sue, but Vivid doesn’t give a shit. Here’s the quote from Steven Hirsch co-chairman of Vivid, “I met with Kim yesterday and unfortunately, we didn’t even come close to reaching an agreement. We will now immediately move forward with the release. We still remain open to any further discussion with Kim as we would like her to benefit from sales of the DVD.” I’m not sure of the release date yet, but previews will be up next week on kimksuperstar.com next week. Basically, I
WIN! Click her hotness to read more.

Lastly, Kelley Hazell has a sex tape. If you haven’t seen it yet, where have you been? I am thoroughly disappointed in you. Step it up. She has boobs like no body’s business. I am not even sure how she became famous, or what she’s famous for. Her boobs are reason enough for me. Click her sex and sign up to skinvideo.com to watch the full length tape!

Now I know when you hear the cliche name Hung Lo you picture that same ole same ole pornstar. You know the ripped up tan guy, with no body hair, and a 12 inch penis right? Well you’re fucking wrong. Hung Lo is the best thing in porn since vibrator accessory to the ipod.

Hung Lo is the only true, Chinese-speaking male fuck toy who devastates his white female counterparts with his massive 5″ member. With over a billion Chinese people in the world, these girls will do anything to see why the Chinese are so fertile … as long as Hung Lo is up to the task.

Watch the Trailer of this little penis going to town on hot white women

PornoJackass.com

I miss school. I never got to go a Catholic School, but lucky for me I had plenty of sluts to go around. I miss being able to skip 2nd period because I was fucking in the science lab. That’s when I garnered the obsession with skirts. I would pull my dick out of my pants, and she would move her panties off to the side. I would slide right in, and I would cum in a petrie dish. I was once told that this chick examined my gizz under a microscope, and 9 months later she became pregnant. I don’t think it was a coincidence. One thing inevitably leads to another, and every Friday I was banging cheerleaders. I loved when they wore their outfits to school and Friday was game day. Man, maybe I need to go back to school. Can I go get a second high school diploma? Is that possible? I should probably just stick to finding high school seniors on myspace… Anyhow, here’s all you need to get you through to the end of the semester. Enjoy.

Let’s all think back, shall we? Let’s think back to a time when we were 18. For me it’s not too hard, because it wasn’t that long ago, but for some of you, just pretend. When I was graduated high school I had a world of possibilities ahead of me. College was around the corner, where I would study law and theatre and make something of myself. I, of course, ended up here on Pornzio. Follow your dreams children! Kari Sweets is 18, and cameras are staring her in face. Oddly enough, she ended up here, too, and thank God for it. Not so much Pornzio, but porn, which is close enough. I like to beat to Kari, and writing about her is even better. It sort of justifies my travels from 18 to now, because when I was 18, I don’t remember chicks looking like that. Actually, I do, and I fucked them, but that doesn’t make for a very good story, now does it? Kari is so hot, Front Magazine named her #2 chick on the net. Right behind, Raven Riley, who I choose not to write about, because if I did I would start beating off at work, and people would get mad at me. (Those damn conservative bitches.) Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the sweetness of Kari Sweets. What? You knew I would use that! Kari Sweets is so fucking cute. She looks like a little lion who wants to have candy and sex. I fucking love candy and sex. As always, click for her myspace. Late.