Rock n Roll always brings the whore out of you. Exibit A: Groupies, exhibitionism, sweating, rock gear, leather, etc. And there’s nothing sexier than a hot babe stroking or licking a guitar. Right? So I thought I’d do a mini tribute to guitar porn.

Licky Loo, Baby Boo!

Masuimi Max is the official alt model for Coffin Case guitars. To see the full gallery (of Masuimi posing with this guitar), look here.

Here’s some extra guitar porn for your enjoyment. Rock on! xoxo

Have you ever fucked a blow up doll? Don’t worry. I won’t tell on you. I’m sure there are a few of you out there who did it as a joke in college. …just once. …drunk. …and you didn’t like it. Ok, so maybe you liked it a little. Whatever. All I’m sayin is that if you’re goign to stick your beloved penis in a deflated plastic hole, make sure nobody takes pics (or video). [tee hee]

All jokes aside, if you insist on fucking plastic, pick a quality sex toy. Try a Fleshlight or a Real Doll. You’ll feel less lame. Promise.

Clearly, Raven Riley gives one hell of a handjob herself. That’s a fucking fact. Yet watching Raven jerk off her man with a fleshlight just takes the hotness to a whole other level. Agree? Check out this POV.
Make it nice, baby. Make it nice.

Ok. Forget Viagra; forget tired plots. This is what you want: Endless hole pounding, with no bs dialog. Doesn’t this hair gripping pic say it all?

Apparently, “all your gay holes are belong to buttmachineboys.”

We’ve all been with at least one girl that just wasn’t going to guzzle down your jizz without a fight. I have the answer for you guys that are still having that trouble. PAY HER! Well get someone else to pay her for her ideas and thoughts on your taste. I’m serious, Love Honey is looking for sperm testers and will be willing to pay you for your information. The product is suppose to change the taste and smell of the semen and is 100% Vegetarian. So you vegans are good to go. You can even sell it that way. There are no vegetarian restaurants around here…why don’t you just let me cum in your mouth. Give it a try.

Sign Up Today for Sperm Testers

I don’t think I need to explain this one. Make up your own stories. ViaEthnorotica

I came across a site today called Icing Images that basically has an edible printing system available. Normally this wouldn’t fall under porn. For people with a normal mind this would be baby photos on cakes and wedding photos and bullshit like that. But no! The first thing that came to mind was sex celebration. This could start a whole new wave of anniversaries. Your first Blowjob, First time I came on your face, First time we had sex on the pool table, you name it…you can celebrate it now.

This could even fall into that lonely nerd category of fucking and tasting girls that you’ve always wanted but never got to fuck or taste. I can see the tagline now “Ever wanted to know what I taste like?” with a picture of a fat pussy staring you down. Why didn’t I think of this. Check it out.

So I just got done reading an excellent blog post called Vag knows Vag that is obviously about ladies eaten ladies. It basically breaks down how no man could ever get a woman off the way a woman could. Mainly because we dont have the same cookies. I mean I know how I want my dick sucked, and I’m sure if I had a pussy I’d know how to eat myself out so I’d come all over the wall. So basically men know men and women know women.

This got me thinking. Do women need us at all? I mean you see the videos all the time. Chicks pounding themselves with dildos or vibrators. Ramming themselves with baseball bats. I mean anything that is long and hard could potentially do the same thing as my cock. Which is pretty fucking sad from a male point of view. Especially with the toys that are out there today. The heads do flips, it vibrates the clit as it does flips, or it goes in and out and vibrates for you at the same time. I don’t know about you, but my dick doesn’t vibrate, spin around, or do flips. I wish it did. So how is my dick suppose to get her off at that kind of level?

Which in turn you could ask: Does she even want you to be able to reach that level? Why bother when she can get herself off better than you can imagine and not have to deal with the bullshit of a relationship. Honestly, I think that fat ugly chicks that are single that want a man so bad. Should just run down to good vibrations and lose the dream of mr right. Buy yourself a spinning, vibrating kind ding a ling. You’ll save yourself a lot of money. You won’t cry about the guy that fucked you and then never called back. And you wont ever have to deal with some dude asking to put it in your butt. I mean if you want it in your ass then go right ahead and stick king ding a ling in there. Just sayin.

So yeah. Apparently men have nothing to offer so fuck it and watch porn. That’s my plan anyway.

Here are some Chicks having fun without Dick

Everyone always says that christmas is the time of giving, the birth of christ, yadda yadda yadda. We all know it’s about getting presents for girls and guys you’re fucking, want to fuck, or have fucked in the past. I mean we’ve all seen the middle age man in Victoria Secret shopping for dirty lingerie. Is it for his wife? Is it for his mistress? Is it for him? We will never know. I mean unless we want to be a stalker, follow him home, and then video tape whatever he does with it and put it online. That’s an option.

Mexican’s have totally changed the way a middle age man will shop for sexy shit. A grand sex plaza was just built in Mexico City. And I say grand because it’s an 80k sq ft Mall with nothing but sex shops and food. You can even watch a stripper shake her ass while you eat. I mean think about it. If anyone knows about fucking, it’s mexicans. Come on. I am mexican. I know. I have more cousins than all the pornstars that you’ve jacked off to in your life combined. Not to mention who wouldn’t want to get a burger and see some snatch?

I’ve booked my ticket already. All I can picture is tan tall mexican women butt naked just asking me where the bathroom is. I don’t speak spanish so I’ll pretend that she’s asking me to take her into the bathroom and fuck her like the dirty slut she is. Anyway. See you there. Here’s some mexican girl links for you to jack off to before or after you shop.

Hot Mexican or Latin (whatever you feel like calling them) Sluts
Dirty Latina Maid sucks and Fucks
Stud makes Mexican Girl Cum
Latina gets tittie fucked and jacks guy off with her feet
Mexican Teen sucks cock

Have you ever gone out on a date, and whoever you were with cooked you a grand dinner? A huge 3 course meal. You finish desert, and then think to yourself “Ya know? That really wasn’t enough for me. I need some more.” Tthat is pretty much how I look at anal beads and butt plugs. As if women didn’t already have a vibrating penis that puts any man to shame. Not to mention creates a peak of orgasm that no flesh penis can do. Since it can’t actually do a 360 spin and vibrate. As if that wasn’t enough, you have to basically tell us “I need some more.”

I need some huge round balls stuffed into my ass and then once you get them shoved all the way in there. I want you to talk dirty to me and pull them out. I mean the process alone is pretty retarded. Stuff … Pull … Repeat. It’s almost like working on the chain gang. Okay maybe not but still. It’s a pretty boring process. And with the butt plug. I mean that’s what it really is. Something you plug your ass with. That one I really don’t get. I mean I know there are a ton of nerves there that can get you off in the quickness, but it’s still weird for me. I mean try this if you haven’t. Go to the fridge, pull out a cucumber, and stick it in your ass. NO NO. Don’t take it out and start workin it a bit. NO. Just leave it in there. Then try to jack off with this thing stuck in your ass.

I know there are a ton of people that love this. And more power to you. But I’m in the small percentage of people that just don’t feel comfortable with things just chillin up in my ass. Call me old-fashioned, but I like the times when just trying to pull it out and put it in her butt, and then her actually letting you. Were times of huge achievement. You felt like a pornstar, and were the biggest pimp in the world. Times they are a changin.

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