You remember that head cheerleader at your high school that wouldn’t give you the time of day, but that you still jacked off to everynight? Well never say never my friends. Cause if you wanted to, you could fuck that girl tonight. Well kinda. Virtual Hotties have this sex simulation software that if you pay a bit extra you can have the character that is going to suck, fuck, and let you cum on their face be any person you want.

So that’s right. You could dig up that picture of that cheerleader, your hot english teacher, or even your friends hot ass mom with the big tits and turn her into your virtual fuck buddy. I think I’m going to have one made of my high school girlfriend that cheated on me. And I’ll just ram her in the ass and then piss on her face. But that’s just me. Have fun.

There are also famous packages with britney, paris, lindsey, and natalie:

Make your own Virtual Fuck Buddy

Leave it to our friends over at Fleshbot to find this crazy japanese site. You can buy anything from a bendable penis pen to a Bill Clinton hard-on pen. Working in Japan must be so fun. When stuff like this is normal gag gift stuff. Can you imagine what they pull out at a sex party. A robot that shoots cum out of tentacles that also breakdances. That’s what I imagine anyway. I guess they’d just bring the real Bill Clinton and make it a swinger party. Either way this stuff is crazy and I want a “PoundaGirl Pen”

Here’s what Violet Had to say about it: It’s gotten to the point that few people I know have the need for pens or pen cups on their desks, but if a friend, say, had a need for such quaint antiquated items I would surely point them toward this bizarre collection of sex-related office supply novelties. Who wouldn’t, after all, derive delight from storing their pen in “Mr. Old Butt” or spend several glassy-eyed, on-the-clock hours clicking giant plastic penises into distended plastic vaginas mounted at the end of your ball point? No one, that’s who. Thankfully, the site also provides helpful gifs that demonstrate the alien artifacts in action, in case your imagination is somehow blasted into oblivion contemplating the Clinton penis pen(s)

Crazy Japanese Office Supplies