After rereading the title, you’d think I was talkin’ about a new MTV show… nope… I’m talking about a baby crib.

If there’s one thing I love beatin’ to, it’s midgets dressed as babies fucking their babysitter.

Thank god sites like Fucd.com exist, because without them my fantasies wouldn’t be realized.

Line of the video? “No wonder you’re a crying baby… That’s a big boner!” Weird thing was, it wasn’t even a boner. She’s a fucking liar. And, seriously, what baby even has a goatee like that?

I never had a babysitter like this, which is why I must resort to beatin’ to the videos. Of course, I also couldn’t stand up in my crib and fuck doggystyle, so there that is.

If you could put a Budweiser can in your girl’s pussy, you’d do it right?
How would that conversation even go?

You: Honey, lemme put this can here in your ‘gina.

Her: No.

You: I wanna film it.

Her: No.

You: I’ll take you the Sizzler.

Her: Should I get on the table, or what?

Budweiser… the King of Beers… and you can put it in a pussy, so that’s cool, too.

Do you live in the Bay Area? A San Francisco limo company is now offering a service that you may be interested in. It’s called SexDollRental.

Height: 5’1″ Weight: 130lbs Bust: 32D Features: Oral,Vaginal & Anal

um… are you interested yet? They say that once you try a sex doll you won’t go back. This service is going to set you back anywhere from $50-320. The site claims that your night of plastic penetration would be “absolutely confidential,” but I can’t help thinking that their limo drivers would have a massive collection of voyeur videos.

Watch their video here and decide for yourself.

Now, I personally love hot candle wax and wacky insertions…but at the same time? I just watched this video on SkinVideo of a babe getting pounded by a few lit candles before giving a juicy blowjob.

Little did I know that this was just one of thousands of lit candle pornos out there. For your viewing enjoyment, check out some free lit candle penetration here, here, here, and here.

For you femdom fans, here’s a random dude with a lit candle up his asshole.

Crap. This type of monster porn gives me nightmares. Remember the post I made a while back about the dildo monster video? I think this might be worse.

This clip is part of Naughty Little Nymphos. I was searching with the keyword “Nymphos” on SkinVideo yesterday. My bad. I was feeling horny and this video just totally killed the mood. Monster Sex = Cold Shower x 1000

Most of the scenes from Naughty Little Nymphos feature men in costumes and/or masks fucking hot chicks. If you’re into that type of fantasy, check out this and this. Super weird shit.

That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex

I’m so wet for Burning Angel. They did a punk rock porno version of The Exorcist called THE XXXORCIST!

Loves it. Father Merkin does a goddamn “sexorcism” on the crazy slut with the twirly head. This movie is perfect for horror fans like me. Watch the Quicktime trailer here. You can thank your favorite lesbian l8r. ; )

I was going through XBIZ World Magazine and saw an attractive adult model sporting a flirt4free tank top on page 136. If you look closely, you’ll see that it’s Jenny Lee from Beauty & The Geek. This photo was taken at the Video Secrets Anniversary party at the Playboy Mansion. If you’re a fan of this show, please help me confirm if this is in fact the same girl.

At least Megan Hauserman (another Beauty & The Geek contestant) was honest about her work for Playboy. Every time her name popped up, you’d see “Playboy Model” underneath. Hell, it’s something to be proud of. I love her for it!

I just think it’s strange to hide adult modeling if you’re going to agree to be on a mainstream reality tv show. Own up to what you do. Be proud of what you do! After I saw her pic in XBIZ, I also saw Jenny Lee on MTV’s show NEXT. If she’s not a wannabe pornstar, she’s at least a reality tv whore.

So if you read the last post you realize that japanese people are fucking weird. So weird that they need to go out of their way to find ways to get turned on.  Some people are into watching their woman get banged by another man or woman.  This person apparently gets turned on by watching his girl suck a cock that isn’t even there.  WTF??

No really…these two lovebirds thought to themselves.  You know what will be sexy?  If we get naked, climb up to the top of that tree in the backyard, and just start going at it.  This is up there with the crazy japanese porn ideas.  Still worth a watch.

Couple fucking in a tree