I… uh… um… because… and then she… well… what had happened was… Dancing Bear fucked a Playboy Bunny… and… well…

And, honestly, why wouldn’t she fuck a bear? If you think about it, bears should have big cocks, right?

Honestly, never in my life have I been so jealous of a bear.

OK, that’s not true, I get jealous every time Pooh puts his hands in the honeypot (and, that’s not even a metaphor)…

Furries for Life!

We all know how much I love porn and zombies together.

You know what I love even moooore? Asians!!

So when you combine Asians, Tattys and zombies I’m in boner overload.

Needless to say, I’m more excited about The Big Tits Zombie 3D than I was about Avatar.

And, The Big Tits Zombie 3D is probably not even actually in 3D.

Sushi Zombie!

(Click the photo for the video)

Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!
This is exactly the movie my dick needs to get itself ready for a long week.

Aren’t you getting as sick as me of the vampire shit? Didn’t you kind of want to see what would have happened in I Am Legend had the zombies started fucking each other?

I imagine that zombies would love to fuck. Those bitches crazy, son.

Thankfully, Porn of the Dead finally show us some sweet, sensual zombie love. And, this isn’t a clip, it’s a full mother fucking zombie fuckfest.

After rereading the title, you’d think I was talkin’ about a new MTV show… nope… I’m talking about a baby crib.

If there’s one thing I love beatin’ to, it’s midgets dressed as babies fucking their babysitter.

Thank god sites like Fucd.com exist, because without them my fantasies wouldn’t be realized.

Line of the video? “No wonder you’re a crying baby… That’s a big boner!” Weird thing was, it wasn’t even a boner. She’s a fucking liar. And, seriously, what baby even has a goatee like that?

I never had a babysitter like this, which is why I must resort to beatin’ to the videos. Of course, I also couldn’t stand up in my crib and fuck doggystyle, so there that is.

If you could put a Budweiser can in your girl’s pussy, you’d do it right?
How would that conversation even go?

You: Honey, lemme put this can here in your ‘gina.

Her: No.

You: I wanna film it.

Her: No.

You: I’ll take you the Sizzler.

Her: Should I get on the table, or what?

Budweiser… the King of Beers… and you can put it in a pussy, so that’s cool, too.

A Czech soda soda company, Kofola, is promoting their new drink with topless (painted) models. Thank god people are taking pics of this. As an American, I’m used to seeing sexy commercials…but not nude models in public. That’s pretty shocking here. I wonder how much they’re getting paid?

I’d love to see how Pepsi can top this. …perhaps a body shot off of the model?

You can buy it here or watch their sexxxy commercial here.

xoxo, lesbodojo

Do you live in the Bay Area? A San Francisco limo company is now offering a service that you may be interested in. It’s called SexDollRental.

Height: 5’1″ Weight: 130lbs Bust: 32D Features: Oral,Vaginal & Anal

um… are you interested yet? They say that once you try a sex doll you won’t go back. This service is going to set you back anywhere from $50-320. The site claims that your night of plastic penetration would be “absolutely confidential,” but I can’t help thinking that their limo drivers would have a massive collection of voyeur videos.

Watch their video here and decide for yourself.

No, seriously. Mary Carey is selling her beloved implants on Ebay. It’s not a hoax. The current bid is $12,526.33! If you won, you could feel her up anytime you wanted.

Bidding ends on December 13th, folks. Go for it!

Mary recently said “Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state….I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.”

I’ve had a crush on Mary Carey for hella long. Ever since she mistook me for a plumper pornstar at the kick off party for Could You Be a Pornstar in Vegas. *sigh*

Now, I personally love hot candle wax and wacky insertions…but at the same time? I just watched this video on SkinVideo of a babe getting pounded by a few lit candles before giving a juicy blowjob.

Little did I know that this was just one of thousands of lit candle pornos out there. For your viewing enjoyment, check out some free lit candle penetration here, here, here, and here.

For you femdom fans, here’s a random dude with a lit candle up his asshole.