A Czech soda soda company, Kofola, is promoting their new drink with topless (painted) models. Thank god people are taking pics of this. As an American, I’m used to seeing sexy commercials…but not nude models in public. That’s pretty shocking here. I wonder how much they’re getting paid?

I’d love to see how Pepsi can top this. …perhaps a body shot off of the model?

You can buy it here or watch their sexxxy commercial here.

xoxo, lesbodojo

Do you live in the Bay Area? A San Francisco limo company is now offering a service that you may be interested in. It’s called SexDollRental.

Height: 5′1″ Weight: 130lbs Bust: 32D Features: Oral,Vaginal & Anal

um… are you interested yet? They say that once you try a sex doll you won’t go back. This service is going to set you back anywhere from $50-320. The site claims that your night of plastic penetration would be “absolutely confidential,” but I can’t help thinking that their limo drivers would have a massive collection of voyeur videos.

Watch their video here and decide for yourself.

No, seriously. Mary Carey is selling her beloved implants on Ebay. It’s not a hoax. The current bid is $12,526.33! If you won, you could feel her up anytime you wanted.

Bidding ends on December 13th, folks. Go for it!

Mary recently said “Now that I’m sober, I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state….I thought the auction would be a great way to spread some holiday cheer and to make sure someone out there has a Mary Mary Christmas.”

I’ve had a crush on Mary Carey for hella long. Ever since she mistook me for a plumper pornstar at the kick off party for Could You Be a Pornstar in Vegas. *sigh*

Now, I personally love hot candle wax and wacky insertions…but at the same time? I just watched this video on SkinVideo of a babe getting pounded by a few lit candles before giving a juicy blowjob.

Little did I know that this was just one of thousands of lit candle pornos out there. For your viewing enjoyment, check out some free lit candle penetration here, here, here, and here.

For you femdom fans, here’s a random dude with a lit candle up his asshole.

As we approach Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of all the things I’m thankful for. Namely, eating pussy!

With all the talk of turkey and mashed potatoes, it makes me want to remind the public about the delicious taste of pussy. I just feel so blessed when I’m going down on a hot girl with soft skin and her pussy tastes sweet and savory…all at the same time. *blush*

Vagina is the most important meal that you will have tomorrow, as an American. Clearly, if you’re a gay man, this does not apply to you. But seriously, go out and make some lady’s day tomorrow. Grab her snatch and whisper that you can’t wait to give her a clitoral orgasm. Be a giver!

To get you ready for your Thanksgiving feast, I’ve orchestrated a buffet of free cunnilingus videos…just for you. Please enjoy every minute of it.

Free Pussy Eating Vids: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Crap. This type of monster porn gives me nightmares. Remember the post I made a while back about the dildo monster video? I think this might be worse.

This clip is part of Naughty Little Nymphos. I was searching with the keyword “Nymphos” on SkinVideo yesterday. My bad. I was feeling horny and this video just totally killed the mood. Monster Sex = Cold Shower x 1000

Most of the scenes from Naughty Little Nymphos feature men in costumes and/or masks fucking hot chicks. If you’re into that type of fantasy, check out this and this. Super weird shit.

Before you start crying, please know that Belladonna is NOT LEAVING the business! She is concerned about all the medical risks involved with being a hardcore pornstar. She’s relatively clean (minus herpes), and she’d rather call it a day while that’s still the case.

She wrote this VERY personal message on her myspace blog today:

“I will no longer be performing with other people. I’ll still be doing solo scenes for extras on my movies and also directing, dancing and signings.

This is really a big decision for me and it hurts me in some ways, but the way I look at… it’s time to let me body relax. I just don’t want to risk getting Herpes all over my body, or in my eyes, or genital warts or even HIV Don’t worry, I’m not leaving the business, I’m just not going to be performing in front of the camera anymore. I know that is why a lot of you are my fans, but I hope you continue to be a fan of my work directing and behind the camera in the years to come. I can’t thank you all enough for supporting my career throughout the years! And I’ll still be here telling you all about my adventures in life and all of the other really hot guys and girls I’ve been shooting. So don’t go anywhere yet, I have much more in store for you.”

I feel honored to have watched her career blossom in this way. Something tells me that Belladonna’s going to make one hell of a porn director.

Here are some free hardcore videos featuring the amazing Belladonna: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. If you like what you see, check out Bella Loves Jenna. It’s a rather perfect way to celebrate 2 ex pornstars who made a huge impact on the biz.

Should you fear the gay chicken? Sound ON, folks!

tee hee. Simple. Loves it.

Yes. It’s exactly what you think, my GILF & Celeb Fake enthusiasts.

It all started with a sassy curator named Lenora Claire. After buying the infamous nude oil panting of Bea Arthur, Lenora realized how much people were still in love with the Golden Girls tv show. People were clamoring to purchase the painting off of her. She decided to commission a group of artists to create erotic Golden Girl art and curate an exhibit.

The art is fantastic. Above is just a taste of what you’ll see if you visit the gallery.

The show is open to the public at the World of Wonder art space at 6650 Hollywood Blvd in Los Angeles, CA. There’s a $5 donation for entry, but that’s a small price to pay for something this rad. You can even add them on myspace here. …and flickr, here.

And to my Pornzio readers, “Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true. You’re a friend and a confidant. And if you threw a party. Invited everyone you ever knew. You would see, the biggest gift would be from me. And the card attached would say, Thank you for being a friend.”

That’s right, folks. I’d like to take a brief moment to review some of the most awesome (the worst, really) possible sex. You know sometimes the best porn is the type you can pass around to your friends and scream “eww” over. If you can add to our list, please do so in the comments section. You don’t have to admit that you did it, as you’re amongst friends here. I’ll add video examples, for your viewing pleasure.

Scary Rad Sex (in no mother fucking order)…

1. Messy Anal and Sharting

2. Tampon Surprise

3. Oops You Have a Dick Too

4. Sharp Teeth on Dick

5. Oops I Got Horny & Fucked a Rubber Chicken

6. Oops I found Jesus after this Hardcore Scene

7. Oh snap, you put our sex tape on the internet!

8. Eating Your Own Jizz is Kinda Nasty

9. Cum Shot in Eye aka Pink Eye

10. Pornstar Bloopers During Shoot aka Outtakes

11. Drunk Chicks Barfing During Sex

12. Homeless People Sex