May the force be with you.

I know that the title of this post may not mean much… I mean, there are lots of things I want to put my penis in.

Sometimes I see a one of those Jell-o cups and think, “I sort of want to put my penis in you, Jell-O cup.”

I’m not going to confirm whether or I do it, but I definitely think about it.

Aspen Parker is like a giant sized Jell-o cup. Primed and ready for my penis to be in her.

This is what I like best about Aspen Parker.

Check out more HERE and HERE

A friend of mine shot this over to me this morning, and it was too good not to post.

I’m dying to go on the Muff Dive and take a ride on the Clit Coaster!

This is actually an ad campaign to promote safe sex, and AIDS prevention.

We, too, believe in promoting safe sex, as well as anal sex.

So, Pornzio officially says, “Wrap that shit before you stick.”

We had a long office debate on whether or not this would be in poor taste.
Then we realize we were a porn blog, and just about everything we do is in poor taste. After all, the last video was whipped cream being shot out of a girls ass by farting.

Ultimately, we decided that people love Japanese porn, and people really love Maria Ozawa.
So, if we put a link to donate to the Red Cross, then it all makes it better.

So, when you beat to Maria Ozawa, do it with a heavy heart. Then open your wallets or arteries for the Red Cross.

Ok… here’s one more Maria set if you’re not convinced.

I love that milk enemas is a thing.

I’d also like to say I understand the phenomenon of injecting whipped cream and other milk products into your asshole, and farting it out into someone’s mouth.

What makes me happy is that there’s someone out there who not only gets it, but is masturbating furiously to it. I appreciate this person.

Like most things, I’m trying to imagine where this idea came from. I can imagine it went a bit like this:
Her: Wait… is that whipped cream?
Him: Yup.
Her: Maybe you want to put that in a turkey baster, stick in my asshole, and then eat the whipped cream as I fart it all over your face?
Him: Well, the Knicks are about to play the Bulls… but… fuck it. Let’s do it.

And so it was born…

This morning I was beating off to one of the hottest teens I’ve ever seen. I decided I should go further, and find more of this chick. So, I google, FTV Ileana… which lead me to Amia Miley > Amia Moretti > Amea Moretti > Amaia Moretti.

All them ridiculously hot, but none of them as young and hot as FTV Ileana. I’d like to think she disappeared after what I’ve posted. Let’s do that.

Since I’m feeling randy this morning, I thought I’d give you guys a motherload, plus a video of her getting fuuuuuucked.

Why? Because this chick has one of the greatest asses ever, she’s sex and I want to put my penis inside of her.

You’re fucking welcome.

(I really need to get back to abnormal shit)

There’s really not much else to say here.

I like Katie Banks’ boobies. A lot.

I don’t have any videos, or links. Just some photos of her boobs, which is awesome.

I guess I could tell a joke?
What are the small bumps around a woman’s nipples for?
It’s Braille for “suck here.”

Ok… one more.
How are woman’s breasts like electric train sets?
They were originally intended for the kids, but Daddy
always winds up playing with them.

Last one…
So a dyslexic walks into a bra…

I see this girl every where. She’s on every girlfriend site, and anywhere hot Asians are.
Yet, I have no idea her name, or how to find more of her.

So, I’m leaving it up to you, Pornzio Readers.

You guys have never failed me.

I believe in you.

Ps… BOOBS!!!

When I heard that the cops came and took away Charlie Sheen’s 2 kids, I got really excited. Then I learned that they weren’t referring to the two “goddesses” that Charlie is living with. One of which is our very own Bree Olsen. By our very own, I of course mean, porn’s very own.

My issue is that there’s rumor’s swirling around from people who swirl rumor’s around that Bree is leaving the adult industry. Now, that’s pretty fucked up, considering he met her at a porn convention.

I’m pretty sure Melanie Rios was fucked by Charlie Sheen recently.

However, I think most pornstars were fucked by Charlie Sheen.

Melanie is a spicy little Latina’s, and you all know how much I love spicy little Latina’s.

Now, let’s all grab our dicks and get to beatin!

And to keep beating… go here, here and here.